On Friday, Miss Chicka called my attention to an Internet report that James E. McGreevey, the Governor of New Jersey, had resigned and had announced he was a “gay American.”
My retirement took place a long time ago, so what is being said around water coolers is now largely unknown to me. However, using my access to televised news programs, it seems that who should succeed McGreevey is attracting the most attention as opposed to low life jokes about his gayness.
Miss Chicka and your old essayist must be the only people in New Jersey who did not conclude McGreevey was a homosexual. When McGreevey appointed his alleged lover to a post for which he had no qualification, we didn’t catch on. When it was pointed out his alleged lover was a citizen of Israel, which disqualified him for a homeland security job in New Jersey, we thought nothing about the sexuality that was involved. Even when McGreevey gave him two large raises, we failed to connect the dots. So it may be expected that Bush will remove me from consideration if Tom Ridge quits and heads back for Pennsylvania. All things considered, it was never my intention to work for a fellow who pronounces “nuclear” as NUK-U-LOR.
So far, it seems to me that New Jerseyans are treating the resignation as an unfortunate event. Of course, the politicians are trying for an advantage, but that surprises no one. What is interesting to me is that McGreevey’s unfortunate situation has not yet become the stuff of late night comedy routines. It may come to that later, but for now the attention is on his successor.
Following the machinations of New Jersey politicians is not a passion of mine. What goes on in Trenton, New Jersey or what goes on in Springfield, Illinois or in Jefferson City, Missouri is, for my money, boring news. And the McGreevey affair was an inside Trenton story.
It appears that McGreevey’s revelation about being a gay person was reasonably well known in Trenton. On the other hand, if Miss Chicka and her husband had been aware of his gayness, what could we have done about it? Would it cause us to vote for a right wing basher as Schundler? The answer is clearly – no!
It seems to me that a few facts stand out. If McGreevey is a gay man, so be it. If his sexual urges are for other men, it is not for me to criticize it. He was born that way and there is nothing known to man that can be done to change his sexual preferences. For myself, his sexual orientation is of no consequence. If he can do the job as a governor, my view is to let him do it – and keep sex and religion out of it.
If McGreevey made a major mistake in his life, it probably was in trying to act as a straight man. This is all 20/20 hindsight now, but it may be that New Jersey voters would have elected McGreevey even if he had announced his gayness earlier. But that may not yet be the case. But when the hurt is measured against the injury to his family after all these years, it seems to me that there is much merit in coming out sooner rather than later, and before being married twice.
At this juncture, there are two daughters, two wives, and three sets of parents who have been hurt. So in hindsight, it would have been better for him to have come out much earlier.
Well, the deed is done. For myself, there is a feeling of great sadness. This country is again going through a moralistic phase when gayness is often condemned. How sad. How contrary to the facts.
For the moralists, any departure from the standard religious outlook is condemned. The fact is that some of us are born as gay men and others are born as straight men. It seems important that in the words of the old Irish song, “Everybody got a place in the choir,” that everyone be heard from. Why should the voice of a gay man be suppressed just because his sexual orientation is different? Clearly, his voice should not be suppressed.
It is well known that in my own life, non-belief in religious affairs has been my standard for more than 75 years. My respectful question to my religious friends is that the God they worship makes wonderful things. Do they contend that God had an off day when he created gay and lesbian people? Those people have always been with us, so religionists must contend that God had a lot of bad days.
The gay men that have come to my attention always seemed to be decent people. To the current popular expression, they never “hit” on me. There was a job to be done and they did it. It has always been my intention to treat gay men as men. Their sexual orientation does nothing for me. At the same time, it would always be well to have a gay man’s outlook on life. That would be of considerable interest to me.
It is obvious that the past few weeks have been greatly trying for McGreevey and his family. This essay has been written to say that this straight man condemns bigotry in all its forms. McGreevey deserves our sympathy and understanding as he enters a gloomy period of his life. My hope is that thinking people will extend that sympathy and understanding to all the McGreevey clan.
Maybe in that new tomorrow, Americans can accept people – gay, straight or lesbian – as decent human beings without referring to their sexual orientation.
E. E. CARR
August 16, 2004
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The country has made several steps forward in that direction, but New Jersey has taken several steps backward with its governorship. Friggen’ Christie has really gone off the deep end recently. I guess going all in on Trump paid off, but the less we hear from him going forward the better. More on Christie here.