Ezra's Essays

Category: Funny

  • A TOUCH OF ELEGANCE | Meditations

    Calendars don’t mislead or obfuscate. They mark the inexorable passage of time. That was the burden of the message exchange recently with Shirley Morganstein, a great speech therapist who set me to writing essays nearly eight years ago. In my case, essay writing has made those years pass most pleasantly. While essay writing has occupied…

  • CATS – AS′ – STROPHE

    In a recent essay, you were introduced to Shamrock, a wayward cat who came to live with us. In the first day or so, Shamrock designated certain chairs as his exclusive property. His domain included the porch, the basement and the garage. With all of his kingly attributes, it was inevitable that he would be…

  • P’ING AND M’ING | Meditations – Chapter Five, Verses 1 to Obadiah

    The readers of these essays are known to be upstanding, honest, far-sighted, and are generally free from all sin, original or otherwise. There may be one or two who have sin-sick-souls, but they have other offsetting characteristics such as being kind to animals and being gracious to grandparents to make up for all other deficiencies.…

  • THOUGHTS THAT OCCUR WHILE SHAVING | Third Series of Thoughts

    When we parted company at the end of Series 2 of these thoughts that appear while shaving, there was some consideration of my current hometown, Millburn-Short Hills, as a candidate to be wiped out because of wine and fornication. This of course, comes from the Biblical source of Revelations which described what happened to Babylon.…

  • BITS & PIECES: GROWING OLDER IS OFTEN NOT MUCH FUN

    A couple of weeks ago, my car was heading westward on a cold, bleak December afternoon when the sun was low in the sky. There was almost no way to block out the sun and still see to drive. The thought occurred to me that driving like this is no fun. And growing older is…

  • BITS AND PIECES: A SHOO-IN FOR THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE

    The news from the Royal Family in London continues to be horrid. The holidays at the end of 2003 have become a disaster not only for the English Royal Family, but for the rest of the civilized world as well. On Christmas Eve, wire services such as BBC and the Associated Press were kept hopping…

  • FOND MEMORIES OF BLIGHTY

    Being an essayist in New Jersey, USA, is an exciting existence. There are pageants and banquets and balls to be attended. New Jersey honors its essayists weekly with an uncommon display of gratitude and outright affection. In the midst of all these ceremonies, there is a chance that Americans, particularly those of Irish ancestry, will…

  • BITS AND PIECES – PART 3: TONY BLAH – ED CAH – AND WAH: AN ENGLISH LANGUAGE REDUX

    Being born in the American Mid-west, my native tongue is English spoken in broad, flat tones without regional accents. My English is not of the hard Boston variety, nor does it reflect the softer tones of Southern speech. Thus, the title of this essay in Mid-western speech would read, Tony Blair, Ed Carr and War,…

  • CREDENTIALS

    It must be supposed that lots of people want to establish their credentials, perhaps to impress other people or to solicit business for their enterprises. In the top drawer of my desk, there is a collection of calling cards with all sorts of abbreviations representing the higher credentials of the owners. There are M.D.’s by…

  • BITS AND PIECES — I’M EVERYBODY, AND MUSIC – AS BAD AS…

    Perhaps it is fair to say that every essay writer – or the writer of any commentary – will encounter items not long enough for an essay, but which are still appropriate for some recognition and some observations. Some of these left over thoughts may be a remark or it may be a slightly longer…