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“LOWER THAN A WHALE TURD”
This essay has to do with the emotional state of a sinner who knows that on the morrow, he will be required to deliver an apology or an explanation for his conduct. In this case, the apology or explanation must flow not necessarily from the head, the heart, the stomach, the crotch, or the femur…
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CHUTZPAH
When politicians of the Joe McCarthy type insist that English is the only language to be spoken in this country, they are missing a glorious opportunity for words of other languages that make the English language more colorful. One of those words is chutzpah, which I assume is Hebrew in nature or perhaps even Yiddish.…
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SEGREGATED RECOLLECTIONS ON A COLD FEBRUARY AFTERNOON
This afternoon the temperature is hanging below the freezing mark. Somewhere between six and eight inches of snow are on the ground. The forecasters assure us that the snow will be followed by a freezing rain. Perhaps all of this proves that when I elected to stay in the great state of New Jersey, I…
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FINALLY, EVENING UP FOR SOUTHPAWS
The term “southpaw” is basically a baseball expression. It refers to players who use their left hand to throw. Traditionally, baseball diamonds have been laid out with home plate in the southwest corner of the infield. This is to prevent the batter from having to look into the afternoon sun while he is at the…
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NOSTALGIA FOR CALVIN COOLIDGE, HERBERT HOOVER AND OTHER CONSERVATIVE ROCK STARS
In the latter half of the 1960s, AT&T decided that I could serve the corporation best by working in its Washington Office. At that time the company maintained a relatively small office in Washington headed by a full vice president who was assisted by two assistant vice presidents. There were about five department heads such…
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OBITUARIES MADE TO ORDER
There is an unparalleled opportunity for young entrepreneurs with a flare for journalistic talent. It has to do with writing obituaries for the living which will be used only after those folks cash in their chips and seek to become angels. As things now stand, obituaries are only written after the demise of the person…
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FRANK DENNEY – A MIGHTY FINE FELLER
In a previous essay, we covered my alleged deafness and how it was “cured” by the Central Institute for the Deaf. Now let’s turn to Frank Denney, a mighty fine feller. The deafness story took place in eastern Missouri on the banks of the Mississippi. That’s about as far east as you can go in…
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REFLECTIONS AND TRANQUILITY
Harry Landis of Marion County, Missouri, died last week. Mr. Landis’s death was unremarkable except for the fact that he was one of the two surviving soldiers from the First World War. Mr. Landis was 108 years old and now the only survivor is a gentleman named Fred Buckles of West Virginia. Mr. Buckles was…