During all the years of my long life, the English language has informed and entertained me endlessly. It must be a good language in that it has now become the lingua franca of the world. Perhaps one of the reasons for it becoming spoken so widely is that it is a living language. In this short essay, I will try to give you three new words or neologisms followed by a few pieces of English poetry that I have admired for several years.
Listening to the news broadcasts on television, there was a sad story about the damage done to the city of Houston by Hurricane Ike. Apparently George Bush decided to visit Houston, which he did not do in the case of Hurricane Katrina when it destroyed New Orleans. When the Commander-in-Chief and the Duke of Crawford reached Houston, a commentator said that as Mr. Bush alit from Air Force One he was “disemplaning.” It was not that he simply got off the airplane and walked down the steps; he was “disemplaning.” This leads to the question of whether or not Mr. Bush was ever “emplaned” as he started his journey to Houston. I know that it is alleged that Mr. Bush consumes no alcoholic beverages but there is a possibility that the stewards on Air Force One “decanted” a wine. In an earlier essay, I considered the thought that when wine is poured into the bottle at the winery, nobody calls it “encanting.”
Now along the same line, we have a situation involving the Iraq war. On many occasions the American troops there have invited journalists to spend weeks in their midst. This is called “embedding.” The question that arises in a perverted mind such as mine is whether or not journalists that are not invited are “unbedded” or “disembedded.”
A mind such as mine has always wondered how we got the term “embalm.” Are those who do not undergo that process “unembalmed” or “disimbalmed”?
And then there are two sports terms that broadcasters use that baseball purists such as myself find revolting. The first is “plated a run.” The simple fact is that a runner has scored a run. If the runner “plated a run,” are we to say that a man who singles to right field “tagged a single” in that direction? The rules of baseball are that each base must be touched; should that be called “touching” a single? I doubt it.
Finally there is the vulgar expression that when a batter hits a home run it is called “going yard.” There is absolutely nothing to recommend the use of this term. However sportscasters use it from time to time to spice up their broadcast. Those who avoid the use of “going yard” will have my eternal thanks.
Well, these are some examples as to how the English language has tended to grow. Some are commendable and others are lamentable. But as long as the English language grows, it may avoid the fate of the Swahili language which is now at death’s door.
There are my thoughts about the recent additions to the English language. You may use them as you wish, but if I find any of you saying “going yard” or “plating a run,” I will be concerned about your mental health.
Now we turn to poetry of recent vintage. It has been my contention for some time that the best poetry written in current days has to do with the lyrics of songs.
[Editor’s note: When I was dictating this essay some weeks ago, my tape recorder broke down at this critical juncture. The failure of the tape recorder was followed by the housing crisis, the run on banks, and the general prediction that we were in a tremendous recession. My thoughts on poetry in the English language were dictated but never recorded due to the malfunction of the machine. Unhappily, those thoughts have not returned to me and so I must proceed without them. Now that my tape recorder has been repaired, two or three other thoughts about the English language have entered my brain. The thought that the best poetry is now written by lyricists still obtains.]
For example, there is Phil Coulter’s song about an autistic child. The title of the song is “Scorn Not His Simplicity.” In that song, Coulter urges us to “love him all the more.” Coulter is an Irish song writer and lyricist. I cannot imagine a more tender thought than to say “Love him all the more” for an autistic child.
Leaving the subject of poetry, there are two or three other thoughts that have bothered me for a long time. One of them has to do with the American pronunciation of the word “been.” In England, Ireland, Scotland, and Wales, that word is pronounced as though it were spelled “bean.” In this country, we pronounce that word as though it were the nickname for a child named Benjamin. What baffles me is that we have no trouble in America pronouncing the word “seen” which should rhyme with the word “been.” I know that I will be accused of being an elitist snob, but my vote strongly goes to those who pronounce the word as it is written and my sentiments are totally with those who say that word is pronounced bean.
On the subject of pronunciation, it seems to me that two television networks on CNN and MSNBC have gone out of their way to hire female announcers who confuse the vowels “e” and “i.” For example, only this morning I heard an announcer on one of those two stations say that “women are one ‘ginder’” and that “candidates from the ‘sinet’ are running for the presidential nomination.” Laura Bush typically confuses the “i” for “e” format, which I suppose comes from her west Texas upbringing. But it grates on my delicate nerves to hear an English word pronounced so thoroughly in error. Today I heard a female announcer say that the “Dimocrat (Democratic) Convinchon was held in Dinver.” How preposterous can you get? Lady announcers, the word is “senate,”
s e n a t e, and your “gender,” g e n d e r, is female and should not cause you to mispronounce a small word such as that. Also, The Democratic Convention was held in a place called Denver, not in the location that you seemed to have invented. Two more mispronunciations are “advincher” for adventure, and “inergy” for energy.
On the subject of mispronunciation, I am appalled at George Bush continually pronouncing the word “nuclear” as nu-cu-lar, just as I am confused by those who pronounce the “can’t” as “caint.” George Bush is dumber than a bagful of doorknobs, so I can excuse him.
Finally, a word about the term “gay.” For reasons unknown to me, Irish poetry and the lyrics of songs are filled with words, always in this combination, “grand and gay.” Those words have no sexual orientation whatsoever. They are intended to reflect an occasion that is filled with joy. Unfortunately, the word “gay” has taken on a sexual connotation, which I deeply regret. I continue to love Irish music and poetry which tout “grand and gay” themes.
So now I come to the conclusion of this essay. None of what I have had to say will rival the writings of Henry Mencken or even William Safire. The English language has always fascinated me, and the thoughts that are contained herein are merely the recent inspirations on that grand and gay language. At my age, it is my hope to keep on being able to speak that language for some time to come. I suppose we are a fortunate people in that English is our native tongue. That may or may not be the case but in any event what we need now are some magic words that will undo the banking crisis, the housing crisis, and the melt-down of stock prices. If anyone can produce such a word or two, even if it is in Esperanto, he will have my gratitude forever.
E. E. CARR
October 20, 2008
Essay 340
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Kevin’s commentary: Bummer about the tape recorder. Thankfully for those who feel cheated, there are quite a bit more language-focused essays available here.
As far as the accent problem is concerned, perhaps these networks have simply made the mistake of Californians. Everyone out here tends to flatten each and every v0wel into the “eh” sound, which is similar to the “i” sound, and almost certainly as infuriating to listen to.