CONCUPISCENCE


The Reverend Charles E. Coughlin was a Catholic priest in Royal Oak, Michigan, who had a radio contract to deliver weekly sermons. I am not certain as to the extent of the network that he broadcast over but am reasonably certain that it covered the eastern half of the United States. His broadcasts started in about 1925 and according to my recollection, they continued until about 1940. Coughlin was a far-right personality who was identified at that time with “America Firsters.” In spite of his clerical collar, the Reverend Coughlin expressed consummate hatred of Franklin D. Roosevelt. He was allied with the America First movement in wanting to deny any aid to Great Britain as she faced the onslaught of the Nazi war machine. If Coughlin were alive today, I would assume that he would be broadcasting the filth that Barack Obama is a Muslim who is not fit for the presidency because he was born in a foreign country.
At the beginning, I listened to Coughlin because of the entertainment value that he offered. I thought that he was plainly silly. But as time went on, I tended to view Coughlin as a man who had gone over the line and was a menace to American values. But Coughlin had another side to him that was more religious in nature.
If I knew a woman in his parish who believed that she was pregnant outside of wedlock, the last person that I would send her to would be the Reverend Charles E. Coughlin. I remember one of his sermons which was on the grand subject of concupiscence. He would contend that no man would go so far as to make a woman pregnant without some encouragement from her. Coughlin’s venom was not confined to the female participant in these amorous adventures. He also would tell the male participant that he was headed straight for Hell.
But all of this took place in 1940 or before and now the year is 2009 and I find myself guilty of the great sin of concupiscence. My female companion is Miss Chicka, who also happens to be my wife. For some time we had grown weary of the squeaks and squawks of our 2001 Chrysler. Miss Chicka had done her usual diligent research on matters having to do with automobiles and had concluded that the most trouble-free performance would be offered by the Honda Accord. She is the one who committed the original sin of leading me into concupiscence but I will guarantee that I was a pushover in its complicity.
The fact of the matter is that nearly every American soldier in World War II seems to have concluded that after the war he would buy no German or Japanese products. For more than 65 years after the war ended, I observed this restriction. I did this even knowing that the two cars that I had purchased from General Motors – a Buick and a Cadillac – were prone to trouble and could not be kept out of the repair shops. But I stayed with General Motors until the Chrysler Corporation came along and offered cars that were considered sports cars. The first cars, in 1990 something, carried the 300 label. In 2000, they were succeeded by a newer version. And so it was that Miss Chicka and I purchased a grand total of four Chrysler cars, one of which we were driving until the time of my concupiscence.
At this point, in July of 2009, there is a legitimate debate about whether the Chrysler Corporation will be in business a year from now. General Motors has gone through bankruptcy and while they advertise that they will offer “green cars” in the near future, I see no reason to bet money on that outcome.
In all of this, the Ford Motor Company did not take any money from the government and has behaved itself quite well. However, neither Miss Chicka nor I have ever owned a Ford automobile and one way or another we followed the advice in Consumer Reports and similar automotive publications and concluded that the Honda Accord was the best buy for long trouble-free performance. So we went to see the Honda dealer in Madison, New Jersey, who seems to run a first-class operation. When we got down to details about how much the current car would bring, the salesman inspected the car and pronounced it in excellent shape. He also said on repeated occasions, “But you are still trading a Chrysler.” That would seem to suggest that the Honda Company does not expect the Chrysler Corporation to be in business very long. Now when push comes to shove, I agree with that assessment because the Chrysler Corporation was taken over by a group of hedge fund operators who I believed were intent upon dismantling the Chrysler Corporation and selling its parts individually. But no matter how much I bargained with the salesman, he continually said that “You are still trading a Chrysler,” for which he offered $2,500 on the trade-in which I believed was at least $3,000 below what we had in mind. But these days Honda holds the whip handle and concupiscence told both Miss Chicka and myself that to Hell with it, we would pay the price and buy the car.
My younger daughter owns two Hondas and had warned us that with Honda only offering a three-year guarantee on its underpinnings and the operation of the motor vehicle, at the final signing there would be a plea from the manager of the concern for an extended contract. Extended contracts on the life of vehicles are a source of great income to the dealers. Being forewarned, I had prepared a speech in my head about the oxymoron of the Honda Corporation telling the world about the longevity of their automobiles and their willingness to sell me an extended guarantee after the three-year warranty wore out. I also pointed out that the much maligned Chrysler had a seven-year warranty and it seemed to me that the three-year warranty of the Honda flew in the face of their advertising the longevity of their automobiles. However, somewhere in the conversation, the manager of the agency deduced that I was a World War II veteran. He said that his father flew out of Foggia, Italy in World War II and for all I know, I may have flown with him. In any case, he knew that the possibility of selling me an extended service contract was somewhat below zero because of the belief of the World War II veterans that German and Japanese products were to be avoided. The air went out of his balloon and he made the rest of his announcement on a pro forma basis knowing that the answer would be zero. But he was a nice person, as was our salesman, and so there is a brand new 2009 Honda now residing in our garage.
I know that I have violated my unspoken vows to the other GIs of my generation by buying the Honda but I will contend that Miss Chicka led me astray and made me guilty of the sin of concupiscence. The Reverend Charles E. Coughlin is probably dead by now but if I told him my tale of being led to the sin of concupiscence, he would denounce me as a lily-livered pushover who does not have the moral strength to observe a vow made many years ago.
All things considered, I hope that the Chrysler Corporation and General Motors return to their former glory so that if I am alive eight or nine years from now, we can buy one of their products. But at my age, chances are that I will be an angel in eight or nine years and everyone knows that angels seldom use automobiles. But look at it this way: if I can remember Reverend Coughlin’s sermon about concupiscence for nearly seventy years, that must be worth something when the final accounting must be made. I suppose that we will just have to wait and see.
E. E. CARR
July 28, 2009
Essay 402
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Kevin’s commentary: If it’s any consolation to the other GIs, Pop a) hates the Honda’s suspension and b) has no idea what it looks like. As a Honda owner who has never owned anything else (honestly never owned anything PERIOD, as my Honda is my parents’), I stand by my opinion that they’re the best cars available. So there.

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