I do not know much about the subject of stockings and garters. There are those who would say my ignorance on this vital subject is appalling. On the other hand, I would say to my detractors, of whom there are many, that the absence of expertise is no reason not to write an essay on that subject.
Looking back, my mother wore cotton stockings which she contended was in accordance with the gospels. According to Lillie, my mother, women who wore silk stockings were not really sluts but not far from it. My sisters wore silk stockings long before there were such things as nylons and pantyhose. More often than not, the stockings would develop what is called “a run.” Effectively, a run destroys the stocking and it must be discarded. Now, of course, we have nylons which are a good deal better than silk and which are long-lasting, or so I am told. In my ignorance about writing about stockings and garters, I thought it best to seek expert advice. Accordingly, Frances Licht and my wife Miss Chicka have been my advisors on this monumental essay. If there are complaints about this essay, they should be directed toward Frances Licht and Miss Chicka. I am going to contend that I know nothing about it.
Well, my mother wore cotton stockings, which was in accordance with God’s plans. My sisters wore silk stockings, which my mother believed put their souls in great jeopardy. Nylons and panty hose came into being I believe after my mother had become an angel. That is all to the good.
But my main focus today is silk stockings, which preceded nylons and pantyhose. The silk stockings had very little elasticity, which meant that they often fell down around the ankles. To stop this downward descent, women used an arrangement on their girdles to secure the stockings above the knee. I am at a loss to tell you exactly how this arrangement worked but it had to do not with hooks but with a clasp which held the stockings. There were two such clasps which anchored the stockings fore and aft. I remember with great clarity that there were women tending to their stockings, making sure that the clasps were in place. Naturally all of this assumes that a girdle is being worn.
It is also possible that stockings were kept from falling by a bungee type rubber band around which the stockings could be wound to hold them just below the knee level. There was an occasion in St. Louis when I was making a speech to mark the departure of the division superintendent. When I looked out at the audience and spotted these two fair ladies with stockings rolled below the knees. It was distracting, but I want you to know that I did my duty even though there was hesitation in my voice while I ogled the stockings. Rolling the stockings below the knees was considered bad form not only by me but mostly by my elder sister, named Verna. Verna was the eldest of the Carr children and she had a tendency toward domineering. At one time or another, Verna was not on speaking terms with my mother or with my other siblings. But in any case, it seems to me that as a rite of passage into femininity, a girdle was required. My sisters were fairly lean and really had no need for a girdle but after they turned 13 or 14 years of age, a girdle was required and, I assume, was worn regularly. In a previous essay, I explored the subject of female girdles which won significant praise from Thelma Dupont, one of the readers of Ezra’s essays. Thelma’s help on counseling me about girdles was greatly appreciated. And it has remained in my memory ever since I wrote that essay.
Now there is one other thing about silk stockings which must be observed here, particularly as it relates to Verna. In the back of the silk stockings, there was a seam. It ran from the foot to the top of the stocking. Aside from worrying about runs and looking stylish, there was also the problem of whether the seams were straight. My sister Verna was death on women who were sloppy about their stockings who permitted the seams to go astray. So you see, during the era when silk stockings were in fashion, women had one more travail to worry them. Now, however, I assume that most women wear nylons which are made into panty hose which produce the desirable effect and seams are nowhere to be found.
Mrs. Licht has instructed me that girdles were not always required when wearing silk stockings. She has pointed out that the stockings may be anchored at the top through the use of what is called a garter belt. From my reading of the Sears Roebuck catalogue, I was vaguely aware of garter belts. But they serve the same function as the girdle did, anchoring the stockings above the knee. There was a time, probably during the World War II era, when silk stockings were not available. It was during this period that a crayon came into use to mark the backs of the legs of the stocking wearer to give the impression that the seams were in place. It seems to me that a person using a crayon on the backs of the legs was vain.
On the other side of the ledger, there are males who used to wear garters. I never used such a device. It was anchored slightly below the knee and the stocking was pulled up high enough so that it was very similar to those in use on girdles to be attached to it. I may have been uncouth but I wore stockings at ankle length and I never thought about garters. During my time as a soldier if someone actually wore garters, I suspect that he would have been laughed right out of the barracks. This would have been a case almost as bizarre as the fellow from Sheboygan, Wisconsin who actually wore pajamas. Nobody, but nobody, ever wore pajamas as a soldier. Maybe in Sheboygan that was the fad.
Well, so much for stockings and garters. I will confess that when I looked at the wife of Bill Haywood, my boss’s boss’s wife, at the going-away dinner, I was distracted by the two chubby knees with the stockings rolled beneath them. But since that time in 1950, I have not given in to the temptation of looking at my boss’s wife’s knees. I believe that I am ready for redemption. Verna, my sister, spent the last few years of her life living with a preacher and his wife, and I heard nothing from her. This may go to show that people who are concerned about whether other women have their seams straight in their stockings should worry about celestial things. But Verna was Verna, and she cared about whether other women had their seams straight on their old-fashioned silk stockings.
I said at the outset that the subject of stockings and garters was one that was beyond my depths. It is for that reason that Frances Licht and Miss Chicka counseled me. And so I leave you with the thought that if you are ever concerned about stockings and garters and straight seams, you should consult those two women to inspire you.
E. E. CARR
January 16, 2011
Essay 527
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Kevin’s commentary: I didn’t even know what a girdle was, so Pop’s ahead of me at least on the subject. Though I suppose we are now even, my having been enlightened by this essay. Or at least I’ll be even once I’ve hunted down the other girdle essay. So far as garters, I was only aware of their usage in weddings. Clearly I am ill-informed.
But I think my main takeaway from this essay is that I wish to hear more about the pajama-wearing fellow from Sheboygan. While I am looking for the other girdle essay I’ll be sure to run a search for pajamas, and if I find any essays on the subject you may rest assured that they will be published here posthaste. If no such essay exists I will respectfully attempt to commission one.