Steven Sondheim is a magnificent composer of music. A few years back he wrote a Broadway play called “A Little Night Music.” The most prominent song in the play “A Little Night Music” is called “Send in the Clowns.” I will not bother you with the full lyrics but I must tell you that the final line in the song “Send in the Clowns” is “Don’t bother; they’re here.” The House of Representatives hearing yesterday, June 16, and the negotiations between BP and the President that preceded it by one day have provided us with an ample supply of clown stories.
Let us take them in chronological order. The Chairman of BP, which used to be called British Petroleum, is a gentleman named Carl-Henric Svanberg. Apparently he had a face-to-face negotiation with Barack Obama and the result was that BP will set aside $20 billion to recompense the people on the Gulf of Mexico who had suffered so terribly. English is not Chairman Svanberg’s native tongue. I assume that his native tongue is Swedish. But he could have been better advised. When Chairman Svanberg left the negotiations with Barack Obama, he had a statement to read in which on at least two occasions, he referred to those he was trying to help as “small people.”
This has caused a storm because nobody in the United States, including midgets and people such as former Labor Secretary Reich at less than five feet, likes to be called small people. Over the years I have had several friends in Sweden, all of whom spoke excellent English and would never have made a mistake such as this. But old Svanberg got carried away after having agreed to make a deposit of $20 billion and called the people he was trying to help “small people.”
I don’t regard myself as a big person, either in size or in importance. I think of myself as an average sort of fellow. I suspect that there are millions of other people who have the same opinion of themselves and those at the lower end of the economic scale might hate to be called small people. But that gaffe was small and was soon overshadowed at the Congressional hearing by BP Chief Executive Officer and Joe Barton, a Representative from Texas.
The Chief Executive Officer of BP is named Anthony (Tony) Hayward. His testimony is, among other things, that he is paid $6 million per year. Tony Hayward sat on the witness stand in front of the committee of Congress and suffered a terrible case of forgettery. The Chief Executive Officer said that he was “not in on that decision”; he “couldn’t remember” or perhaps it was below his station in life to make “that sort of decision.”
A commentator last night concluded that Tony Hayward denied participation in more than 65 decisions that were made leading up to the Gulf of Mexico disaster. Tony Hayward speaks excellent English, as befits a Doctor of Geology from the University of Edinburgh. But when it comes to decision making, old Tony was simply out of the room and can’t remember anything. In Missouri, we have a term for the likes of Chief Executive Officer Tony Hayward. It is a liar.
Finally, Congressmen were reading their preliminary statements. Joe Barton, the Representative of the Sixth District of Texas, presented himself as the chief clown of clowns. This is a significant district in Texas, which includes Arlington, Ennis, and Crockett. Barton has a Master’s of Science in Industrial Relations from Perdue University. Before being elected to Congress, he was the natural gas decontrol consultant for the Atlantic Richfield Oil and Gas Company. So you can see that he is no ignoramus, but a fairly educated man.
Joe Barton’s opening statement, the lead Republican on the committee, was awash in apologies to none other than BP. He accused the President of the United States of “shaking down” British Petroleum and called the $20 billion a “slush fund.” This happened slightly before noon.
The committee was in recess to take a vote in the House of Representatives for about 40 minutes. When the committee reconvened, Barton was called on, ostensibly to take back his apology of the morning. In point of fact, the leadership of the Republican Party had bashed Barton for what he had done in issuing an apology to BP. They told him that he would either retract what he had charged as a “shake down” and a “slush fund” or they would remove him as a vice-chairman of the committee he was on. In trying to withdraw his apology, Barton only got in deeper.
He accused those who listened to his apology in the morning of having misconstrued his meaning. In so doing, the word “construction” took three flops out of him. In the end, I suppose, we were told that the policy did not really apply because we had “misconstructed” his meaning. Barton is now the laughing stock of the Republicans, the Democrats, and the Independents of the entire political structure. He must have followed the example of George W. Bush who during his Presidency, once told his listeners that he should not be “misunderestimated.”
But Barton has provided one valuable service. He has supplied all of his opponents with a rich tagline because of his apology to BP. I plan to call Barton and tell him that the apology to BP is not enough. On behalf of the American people, he should apologize to Great Britain because we were unkind to King George III. I am certain that he can use his education at Perdue University to “misconstruct” an elegant apology.
I believe that Stephen Sondheim, if he is still alive, should record the events of recent days. Mr. Sondheim would probably conclude that
Mr. Svanberg, Tony Hayward, and Joe Barton are indeed the clowns of clowns and should be recognized by the King of Sweden, the magnificent Queen of England, and the Republican Party of the United States as such.
Stephen Sondheim’s musical was a tender love story. In the case of Svanberg, Tony Hayward, and Joe Barton, I can assure you there is no love lost. Love is a serious subject and should not be relegated to the likes of these three ultimate clowns.
E. E. CARR
June 20, 2010
Essay 466
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Kevin’s commentary: And on top of all this, I’m guessing this essay was written before the whole “I just want my life back” line came out. I guess the combination of stress and constant media attention makes people say really, incredibly stupid things.