The network news broadcasts and the politicians are attempting to determine what was meant by Mitt Romney’s saying that he had retired retroactively.  I fancy myself a wordsmith but I am thoroughly baffled by the use of the term “retired retroactively.”
The case in point involves Mr. Romney filing papers with the Securities and Exchange Commission in late 2002.  Most papers identify Mr. Romney as the Chief Executive Officer of the Bain Corporation.  They also say that he is President and has two or three other titles such as founder or whatever.  In other words, there is no doubt whatsoever that Mr. Romney was the stud duck of the Bain Corporation.
Now the dispute is that Mitt claims that he retired in 1999.  But the facts do not bear this out.  They say that he was the Chief Executive Officer through 2002. The poor Republican spokesmen were left to dangle on a limb when the Republican National Committee said that it was all easy to explain.  They said that Mr. Romney retired retroactively.
Now let’s take a case in point.  In 1984, I concluded that the Telephone Company could do without me and I officially retired.  There was a going-away party which I believe I attended.  From that point on, I had nothing, absolutely nothing to do about affairs in the Telephone Company.  That is the way that retirements work.
When our great and good friend Frances Licht decided that she had had enough of working in a brokerage, she announced that on a certain day she would retire.  On that occasion, management gave her a dinner and presented her with a magnificent watch.  The fact of the matter is that once the dinner had been completed and the watch presented, Frances Licht wished the brokerage well but she did not go to work there anymore.  And she did not claim that for the three years after her retirement she was involved in the affairs of the brokerage.
This business about retroactive retirement has a great drawback.   Suppose that a man and a woman were involved in a torrid love affair that resulted in the production of a child.  Do you think that the male lover could claim that he had nothing to do with that child because he had retired retroactively?  Hey, man, I don’t think that passes the smell test.
Well in any event, the Republican spokesmen are rapidly trying to change the subject whenever retroactive retirement is broached.   Now I will say one thing.  Retroactive retirement adds a new touch to the English language.  Politically, I believe that Mr. Romney is having a great struggle to straighten this out.  But as a wordsmith, I am thoroughly delighted with that oxymoronic statement.
E. E. CARR
July 18, 2012
Essay 680
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The first of two Romney essays for the night.
Off the bat, here’s some interesting news about Romney from today — some pretty intense ‘hackers’ (who actually broke into an accounting office) apparently got hold of his tax returns, and they’re holding em ransom for bitcoins. Pretty crazy stuff.
Should make this more interesting!