You may be excused if you do not recall exactly what you do were doing on the evening of August 4, 1959.  It was a Tuesday, but otherwise it was unremarkable.  I do not recall what I was doing that evening but I assume that I was working for the great AT&T organization and I worked until a few minutes after five o’clock.  We lived in New Providence, New Jersey at that time.  Getting home was not easy.  It involved a one-mile walk to the ferry terminal, whereupon the Lackawanna Ferry took us across the Hudson River to Hoboken, New Jersey.  At Hoboken, if things were in good working order, I could pick up a train that would carry me to New Providence, New Jersey which was about one hour away.  Upon arriving in New Providence, my wife and the two daughters would meet me and take me the last two or three miles to my home.  From beginning to end the transit time was about one hour and 15 to one hour and 20 minutes.
Upon arriving at my home, I assume that my wife and I consumed an alcoholic drink to celebrate my 37^th birthday.  On that same evening, a new show opened on Broadway.  The show was not a threat to such productions as South Pacific.  It opened at a theater on 45^th Street, then moved to another theater also on 45^th Street, and finally it went uptown to the Carnegie Hall Playhouse.  It played at three theaters for a total of four months and 135 performances.
In those days, I attended the theater whenever there was a good production that fell within my financial restrictions.  I was not an all-out theater buff, but I enjoyed the productions that were offered in New York City.  The show that we are talking about was called “The Billy Barnes Revue.”  Apparently neither that title nor the reviews suggested that it was a “can’t miss” production.
Now at this point, this essay takes on the aura of mental telepathy.  The major song in “The Billy Barnes Revue” was sung by a woman who was the wife of Billy Barnes.  Her name was Jackie Joseph.  The song that she sang was, “Have I Stayed Too Long at the Fair?”  She and Billy Barnes were making their first attempt to crack Broadway.  Apparently Billy Barnes was a notable figure in Los Angeles.  So it was that in 1959 he brought “The Billy Barnes Revue” to Broadway.
Curiously, you will notice that none of the theaters at which the revue played are actually located on Broadway.  Only a handful of theaters are literally located on Broadway with the rest scattered on such streets as 45^th and 46^th.
Now let’s get back to Billy Barnes and his wife, the soloist who sang the hit number of “The Billy Barnes Revue.”  The fact that the show moved its on-Broadway locations from one theater to another was probably explained by the fact that the only accompaniment for the singing voices was a piano.  There was no orchestra with all of the attendant woes of moving an orchestra from one place to another.  There was simply a piano.  So when moving day came, he had simply to determine whether the new theater had an in-tune piano to accompany the singers.
“The Billy Barnes Revue” played on Broadway for 87 performances.  I assume that Mr. Barnes could return to Los Angeles and tell the folks there that he had conquered New York.  To be more accurate, Mr. Barnes had succumbed to all of the influences on the side that helped make the attendance at a theater performance worthwhile but which investors hate.  Here is a list of producers in the production credits that must be accounted for when it comes time for a payoff.  There is a producer, George Eckstein, plus the associate producer, Bob Reese.  The book was by Bob Rodgers and the music and lyrics by Billy Barnes.  There was also a musical director named Billy Barnes of all things, and an associate musical director, Armin Hoffman.  Then there was the director Bob Rodgers, scenic design by Glenn Holse, writing by Peggy Clark, costume supervision by Peggy Morrison, and the Berman Costume Company.  You won’t believe this but there was a company manager, which everybody seemed to have.  That was Benjamin Rothman.  There were two stage managers.  They were Howard Ostroff and John Holden.  Lastly, the press representative was Samuel Friedman.
So as you can see, getting a production on Broadway was an expensive proposition.  When it comes time for the receipts to be counted, every one of the people mentioned in the foregoing paragraph has to be paid first.  If there is anything left over, it is distributed to the investors in the production.  Judy and I invested in two productions, as I recall it around $5,000 each.  From that investment, we received a payout of nearly $300.  So the moral of this story is that if you have money to invest, do not put it on Broadway.
During its run in New York, playing at three separate theaters none of which were actually located on Broadway, I was unaware of the existence of the Billy Barnes production.  There is so much going on in the theater business in New York, that it is not unusual that a production such as “The Billy Barnes Revue” could have come and gone without attracting my attention.
But it is unusual that I was unaware of the lead song, “Have I Stayed Too Long at the Fair?”  I simply did not become aware of that song until this year, when mental telepathy came into being.  Some time in December of 2011, I asked my wife who tries to keep track of my failing memory whether she had ever heard a song with the title, “I Must Have Stayed Too Long at the Fair.”  Miss Chicka replied that she was vaguely aware of such a song but, more importantly, she recalled a nursery rhyme that seemed to fit the bill.  The nursery rhyme is as follows.
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Dear, oh dear, what can the matter be?
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Johnny’s so long at the fair.
It was a nursery rhyme that apparently was in the same school of thought with “Have I Stayed Too Long at the Fair?”
With that, Miss Chicka using her terrific computer found a song that answered the description.  It was “Have I Stayed Too Long at the Fair?”  Apparently perhaps even a dozen performers have recorded that song and I knew nothing about it.  The main performer of that song was Barbra Streisand.  I do not care for Miss Streisand’s music.  But then we found a recording of that song by the Midwest Vocal Express.  It is sung in the barbershop style, which means close harmony, and it is performed a cappella.  That is, of course, without accompaniment.
I believe that that [sic] song, “Have I Stayed Too Long at the Fair?” is a marvelous composition.  I also believe that the performance of that song by the Midwest Vocal Express is superb and it is for that reason that it has been recorded here, and a copy of it is furnished forthwith as well as the lyrics.  I hope that you enjoy it as much as we have.
One final thought.  For anyone who is of Social Security age, I suspect that the thought must go through all of our minds about staying too long at the fair.  My great and good friend, Kaye McCormack, the Chicago chief operator, at the end of her life told me, “There’s no reason left to stay here.”  Kaye died not long after she wrote that note.  So I suspect that every old timer must ask the question about whether he has stayed too long at the fair.
In my own case, I must assume that I have stayed much much too long at the fair.  Even the Bible suggests that a person who reaches 80 years is long past due.  At this point, I hope to make 90 years some time this summer.  I will continue to subscribe to the philosophy of an old friend, Howard W. Pappert.  Howard says that old timers would “go as long as they can, as hard as they can.”  I can’t go as long as I used to nor can I go as hard as I used to.  But I am still in there trying.  If indeed my life lasts to 90 years, which will occur hopefully some time this summer, I will say that I have stayed at the fair long enough and anything else will be a bonus that I don’t deserve.  But I will take it.
PS: The lyrics to “Have I Stayed Too Long at the Fair?” are furnished for your enjoyment.  Knowing the age of my readers, I would suspect that this is an occasion calling for bifocal glasses.  In any event, we hope that the song pleases you as much as it has pleased us.
The lyrics are the product of the work of Esteban Hidalgo, a thirteen year old who is our production assistant.  Any criticism of the lyrics should be directed toward Esteban, not toward the author of Ezra’s Essays.
 
E. E. CARR
December 29, 2011
Essay 608

“HAVE I STAYED TOO LONG AT THE FAIR”

Music and Lyrics by Billy Barnes

Hmmm…hmmm…
Hmmm…hmmm…
I wanted the music to play on forever
Have I stayed too long at the fair?
I wanted the clown to be constantly clever
Have I stayed too long at the fair?
I won a blue ribbon how proud I was there ,
But I couldn’t find anybody to care;
The merry-go-round is beginning to taunt me,
Have I stayed too long at the fair?
There is no more to win and there is no one to want me,
Have I stayed too long at the fair?
Oh, mother dear, I know your very proud,
Your little boy in blue jeans is so far above the crowd;
No, daddy dear,
You never could have known
That I would be successful, yet so very much alone…
How I wanted to win all the fabulous treasures,
Have I stayed too long at the fair?
I wanted to dance on the merriest measures,
Have I stayed too long at the fair?
I found it was easy to capture success,
But now I’d be willing …
To settle for less,
Now I’d settle for less,
The lights of the midway are fading above me,
Have I stayed too long at the fair?
Wherever I roam,
To the people who love me
Yes I stayed too long at the fair.
Too long at the fair,
Farewell fair
 
~~
Kevin’s commentary: You can find Streisand’s version here. This essay made me seriously regret never having been to a Broadway show though, which is something I feel like I should probably do at some point in my life. Not that I’ve ever had any particular love for theater, but I did spend many a weekend in highschool running around the state with thespians-to-be, and I always enjoyed watching them compete. This was of course for speech and debate tournaments, of which I attended dozens (hundreds?) because I am a nerd.
Anyway, this was the first I’ve heard of Esteban. Perhaps I should make him a moderator or copy editor of this website.