This essay should properly be called, because of its shortness, an essayette.  Cerumen is a reasonably important health problem and I would not want the shortness of this essay to detract from its importance.
If the truth were known, it would disclose that the proprietor of Ezra’s Essays is now prepared to throw its readers a curve ball.  Cerumen is, in point of fact, in common parlance called earwax.  I am a copious producer of cerumen or earwax, and I hope that the production of cerumen will continue until I become an angel.
I believe that the people who practice the art of ear, nose, and throat medicine will tell you that if earwax builds up, it will block your hearing.  I have also been told by physicians who practice that art that nothing should be inserted into the ear to remove the earwax.  Over the period of my long life, I have ignored that advice and have used hairpins and/or paperclips to remove the earwax as it builds up.  And my hearing continues to be normal.
A few years ago I went to the specialist of ear, nose, and throat at the Summit Medical Group because I thought that earwax was building up and impairing my hearing.  His assistant gave me an extensive test, which apparently I completed successfully.  The physician, when he looked at my ears and the results of the tests, said to me, “What are you doing here?”  In spite of the rough beginning to my interview with the physician, we became fairly good friends.  He agreed to clean out what he could find of the earwax that had been building up or so I thought.
In recent days, I have begun to be curious about cerumen or earwax.  There is no medical emergency of any kind but I pursued this subject purely out of curiosity.
The Mayo Clinic has a web site that should satisfy my curiosity.  Here is what the Mayo Clinic says.  The web site says that cerumen is healthy in normal amounts. It is a self-cleaning agent with protective lubrication and anti-bacterial properties.  The web site goes on to say that as we chew, the excessive amount of earwax is moved toward the outer ear, making it easy to remove.
So earwax is a lubricating device with anti-bacterial properties.  I did not know that earwax served such an important function.  When I remove my excessive earwax with my bobby pin, I will discard it with much more respect.
Well, this is a short essay which will be called an essayette.  The fact that it is so short will not detract from the importance of the topic.  And if I really threw you a curveball, I have few regrets because of the importance of this subject on health.  On top of that I expect that very few of you knew that the proper name for earwax was cerumen.  In that way, I have contributed to your cultural edification.
 
E. E. CARR
October 11, 2010
Essay 504
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Kevin’s commentary: Pop’s expectations were correct.
On a side note, I have no good category for this essay, aside from “short.” That will have to suffice.