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BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE
When the calendar gives a reading of November 1, a sense of hopeless gloom settles over many Americans. In these days, that gloom also includes Cubans, Venezuelans, Canadians, Dominicans, and all of those who pursue the wonderful game of baseball. As a diagnostician of many years’ standing, I can tell you that the hopeless gloom…
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A FEW MORE COMPLETELY RANDOM THOUGHTS
Perhaps I should stay out of my water closet because random thoughts often occur to me there. As the lawyers would say, in the instant case these thoughts include such diverse characters as George Steinbrenner and the Roman Catholic Pope who visited here recently. These are not monumentally important thoughts, but they will not go…
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COMPLETELY RANDOM THOUGHTS
Those of you who have long memories may recall that there were a series of essays three or four years ago that were entitled “Random Thoughts While Shaving.” Now similar random thoughts continue to occupy my alleged mind. I had hoped that they would be transient in nature, but unless I record them, they will…
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“LOWER THAN A WHALE TURD”
This essay has to do with the emotional state of a sinner who knows that on the morrow, he will be required to deliver an apology or an explanation for his conduct. In this case, the apology or explanation must flow not necessarily from the head, the heart, the stomach, the crotch, or the femur…
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SEGREGATED RECOLLECTIONS ON A COLD FEBRUARY AFTERNOON
This afternoon the temperature is hanging below the freezing mark. Somewhere between six and eight inches of snow are on the ground. The forecasters assure us that the snow will be followed by a freezing rain. Perhaps all of this proves that when I elected to stay in the great state of New Jersey, I…
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THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANGLO-SAXONS
My eighth-grade teacher was a plump woman who would have been greatly pleased if someone had mistakenly identified her as an English poet. She wore shoes that went out of style after the First World War and she loved to read from her book of poems by English poets. Beyond that, Miss Maxwell loved the…
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REDEMPTION IN TEXAS FOOTBALL
This is a short story with a happy ending. I spend very little time worrying about football and certainly less time worrying about Texas football. But in this case, I was indeed devoted to the outcome. It seems that earlier in the 2009 football season the quarterback of the University of Texas football team gave…
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GREED GETS ITS JUST REWARDS
Two or three years ago, the stock market was humming along at somewhere in excess of 13,000. A good many people were working and prosperity was in the air everywhere. It was in this era of prosperity that the New York Mets, the New York Giants, and the local professional football teams in New York…
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CONFESSIONS THAT WILL EXCITE AND ENRICH THE SOUL
It is the standard belief of preachers that confessions are beneficial to the soul. My religious beliefs or lack thereof bar me from knowledge about the soul. However, yesterday, February 17, brought three confessions that must have benefited every soul known to man or cattle. The first was a confession by Alex Rodriguez, the $30…