Category: Local/New Jersey

  • QUESTIONS UNANSWERED

    To this old Missouri essayist, it is a cardinal sin to grow older but no wiser. At this moment, there are four or five questions unanswered that are floating through the vacant space in my head. The first question has to do with wine. In the early 1980s, a lovely saleslady at Svensk Glas sold…

  • IS IT CELEBRITY OR A CASE OF NOTORIETY?

    Astonishment at the antics of American politicians does not come easily to this old geezer of ancient vintage. However, the events of the past two days have caused this old gaffer a full-fledged case of complete astonishment. On July 29, 2008 Barack Obama held a rally in the town of Springfield, Missouri. That city is…

  • “WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO CLASS?”

    The title of this essay is lifted from the lyrics of a duet sung by Chita Rivera (Thelma) and Mary McCarty (Matron Mamma) in the original 1975 Broadway production of Kandor and Ebb’s musical, “Chicago.” (See attached lyrics.) It ran on Broadway for 936 performances. After an absence of perhaps twenty years, it was revived…

  • SOME CATS PURR; THIS KATZ COLLECTS LOVERS

    This may come as a shock to many of my readers, but in this essay, I will be dealing with a subject that I know a little bit about. From 1946 through the summer of 1951, I was an official of the Communications Workers of America. Then in 1951 the management of AT&T offered me…

  • OBITUARIES MADE TO ORDER

    There is an unparalleled opportunity for young entrepreneurs with a flare for journalistic talent. It has to do with writing obituaries for the living which will be used only after those folks cash in their chips and seek to become angels. As things now stand, obituaries are only written after the demise of the person…

  • INSPIRATIONS FROM THE W.C.

    The writing of essays requires an infusion of ideas. A good many of my ideas occur to me while I am attending to my duties in the bathroom. For example, you may recall that there were a series of essays which were entitled, “Thoughts While Shaving.” As time has gone on, I still receive thoughts…

  • “I LOOK BUT I SEE NOTHING”

    What I am really describing here is a job opportunity for men who are burdened with the loss of eyesight that afflicts me. In this short essay I will try to tell you why this is a golden opportunity for men such as myself. Guido Bocciola operated a very fashionable restaurant in New York on…

  • THE VITAL SIGNS OF 2008 LOOK PRETTY GOOD

    The New York Times has a reporter named Jennifer 8 Lee. I was intrigued by that name and asked Ms. Lee how it came about. Ms. Lee was very gracious and explained to me that she was of Chinese ancestry and her forbearers considered 8 to be a very lucky number. That seemed to be…

  • BUONO NATALE

    Last week when I received a very favorable report as a result of my visit to a physician, I suggested to my wife that we should have lunch at an Italian restaurant here in Millburn called Basilico. Basilico is the Italian word for the herb basil. From that, the events on that day led to…

  • GOVERNORS’ RACES AIN’T WHAT THEY USED TO BE

    This fall there will be governors’ races in our two great states of Virginia and New Jersey. Why these two states hold off-year elections is beyond the ken of human understanding. In New Jersey, for example, these off-year elections seem to have been held since the beginning of time. The race in Virginia has stirred…