Ezra's Essays

Category: Focus — Single Person

  • ESTHER REZOAGLI AND THE MERITS OF BEING BORN UNWEALTHY

    Rodney Dangerfield was a comedian who during his lifetime claimed that he “got no respect.” Dangerfield was a happy comedian who coined a maxim or two. One of his maxims was, “I’ve been rich, I’ve been poor, and believe me, rich is better.” In this essay, I will contend that there is merit in being…

  • “IT DON’T MEAN I DON’T”

    It has been 71 years and three months since I last saw Miss Maxwell, my eighth grade teacher. That period has passed with little lament from your old essayist. For most of the boys in Miss Maxwell’s eighth grade class, I think it would be fair to say that if the lamentable and regrettable period…

  • THE MORE THINGS CHANGE, THE MORE THEY DISIMPROVE

    I am painfully aware that cynics and critics will charge me with plagiarizing the ancient maxim of “The more things change, the more they remain the same.” I plead guilty on all counts. On the other hand, I will contend that I have improved that maxim with the addition of “disimprove” as a wonderful neologism.…

  • SALLY RAND, SOPHISTRY, AND “VALUES VOTERS”

    To make my point about sophistry and “values voters,” I am obliged to tell you about a woman who was born in my home state of Missouri, who assumed the name of Sally Rand. We will get to Sally shortly. When the year 1933 came to the United States, we were then entering our fourth…

  • SOME CATS PURR; THIS KATZ COLLECTS LOVERS

    This may come as a shock to many of my readers, but in this essay, I will be dealing with a subject that I know a little bit about. From 1946 through the summer of 1951, I was an official of the Communications Workers of America. Then in 1951 the management of AT&T offered me…

  • “OH MY, YOU ARE A DARLING”

    Impartial and independent observers have assured me that the readers of Ezra’s essays have been purged of Southern Baptists, Nazarenes, Pentecostals, Holy Rollers, and other evangelical sects. That is a lovely development in view of the fact that before this essay is finished, there will be references to female horniness. I grit my teeth when…

  • “I LOOK BUT I SEE NOTHING”

    What I am really describing here is a job opportunity for men who are burdened with the loss of eyesight that afflicts me. In this short essay I will try to tell you why this is a golden opportunity for men such as myself. Guido Bocciola operated a very fashionable restaurant in New York on…

  • LEFTY

    The people who take opinion polls will tell you that the quality of their findings is a function of the questions that are asked. If you ask the wrong question, you will get a misleading answer. This essay has to do with asking the right questions. In this general vicinity of suburban New York towns,…

  • GOVERNORS’ RACES AIN’T WHAT THEY USED TO BE

    This fall there will be governors’ races in our two great states of Virginia and New Jersey. Why these two states hold off-year elections is beyond the ken of human understanding. In New Jersey, for example, these off-year elections seem to have been held since the beginning of time. The race in Virginia has stirred…

  • HOBGOBLINS AND GANDER SAUCE

    The explanation for this current title will probably appear before the end of this essay. This means that those of you who wonder why this lovely title exists will have to hold on for a while and it will give you a vital interest in the outcome of this little piece. Over the 11 years…