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“THE MORE THINGS CHANGE THE MORE THEY REMAIN THE SAME”
LES GUÊPES, 1849 JEAN BAPTISTE ALPHONSE KARR This essay has spent a longer time than normal in gestation. I had intended to dictate it on Memorial Day, but the news from Iraq was so depressing that I could not bring myself to work on it. Now that the essay has emerged from the womb, let…
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AN OVERABUNDANCE OF CARDIAC CARNALITY
(AS DIAGNOSED BY BROTHER TONY AND PREACHER FITZWATER) I have toyed with calling this essay “An Affair of the Heart” but that title would have been misleading. This is not a love story in any respect. It is a medical matter with ecclesiastical overtones. This combination of factors makes it a matter of major significance.…
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FLAGS AND ANTHEMS
Haggis is a meal consumed by Scots on ceremonial occasions. I use the word “consumed” advisedly because it is impossible to imagine that anyone would actually enjoy eating haggis. To prepare haggis, it is necessary to have a sheep’s stomach into which are poured quantities of oatmeal as well as the sheep’s kidneys, heart, lungs,…
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DOUBLE WIDE UPLIFT BRASSIERES FOR OUR 800 GENERALS
From 1929 until the beginning of 1942, the United States was in the grip of a vicious economic depression. Job opportunities rarely existed. Unemployment figures were at an all time high. The stock market was barely stumbling along. Bankruptcies and home foreclosures were a common place. Those dozen years of the Depression were dismal for…
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ALBERTO’S FORGETTERY
On April 19th, the Attorney General of the United States appeared before the Senate Judiciary Committee to answer questions about the firing of eight prosecutors. In five hours of testimony, the Attorney General, Alberto Gonzalez, was not very helpful in that he said on more than 70 occasions, “I can’t recall.” Two weeks earlier, his…
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THE AMERICAN ARMY: AN EXERCISE IN TREACHERY
This essay is being written during the first week in March, 2007. I am assuming that by this time every American knows about the scandal at the Walter Reed medical facilities in Washington. The commanding general of the hospital, as well as his successor, and the Secretary of the Army have been relieved of their…
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TALL TALES AND STORY TELLING
The restaurant that my wife and I patronize almost exclusively is called Basilico, which of course is the Italian word for basil. Basilico was founded by two Italian immigrants who came here from Imperia, Italy in the mid 1980s. They worked for another Italian until they could establish their own place which has now gone…
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PASSED BALLS AND WILD PITCHES
When anyone has lived as long as I have, it would be foolish to claim that there have not been some mistakes along the way. The Great Decider may differ with that conclusion, but he is busy trying to extricate the United States from the mess he has created in Iraq. These are some of…
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ON BECOMING ENSNARLED IN ONE’S OWN JOCKSTRAP
The title of this essay is perhaps misleading in that only a small portion of it has to do with athletic supporters. Primarily it has to do with the stupidity of the federal government and the great state of New Jersey in demanding that every automotive driver have a photograph on his driver’s license. This…