Ezra's Essays

Category: Favorite

  • IT’S ONLY THE FIRST INNING

    According to the Gregorian calendar, which I carry in my breast pocket at all times, in a few days I will have completed one year in the business of being blind. I had promised myself that I would take an assessment after one year of what the effects of being blind really meant. While I…

  • CELIBATE SEX

    My wife, Ms. Judith Chicka, says that the title of this piece is a non-sequitur. And she is a descendent of the Serbian royal family so she should know what she is talking about. On the other hand, it is my belief that the title is nothing more than an oxymoron. The Bishops of the…

  • MAIL CALL

    This essay has an air of inevitability about it. If a pitcher stands on the mound and expectorates on the baseball, the batter should know that the next pitch will inevitably be a spitball which will start out at waist level and sink to his shoe-tops by the time it crosses the plate. There is…

  • “WHO ARE YOU GOING TO BELIEVE: ME OR YOUR LYING EYES?” – Groucho Marx

    Nitpickers may say that Groucho should have used “Whom” instead of “Who,” but they are not writing this essay so the quotation stands as it is. The quotation is an apt one because my eyes last summer became AWOL permanently and now my eyes are often sending me imaginary visions of trees, water glasses, and…

  • FADING TO GRAY

    As this essay is being started, it is a cold, rainy, Sunday afternoon in late April. It means that most people are home bound which is the bad news on a Spring weekend. The good news is that the Boston Red Sox took three straight from the New York Yankees over the past three days…

  • WAR ON TERROR

    The news from Washington, particularly the White House, tells us that we are fighting a war on terror. This old under-educated, inarticulate clod is baffled by that description. What war are we talking about? And are the American people genuinely terrorized? The imprecision of the language in the so-called war on terror is immense. When…

  • AN ADOPTED GRANDPA

    Over a long span of years, I have been a son, a brother, a grandson, a husband, a father, a grandfather, an uncle, and a brother-in-law. Over that same span of years, I have been a filling station attendant, a soldier, a telephone worker, a union president, a lobbyist, and an international telecommunications representative. But…

  • SO ENGLISH IS OUR OFFICIAL LANGUAGE

    When it comes to goofiness, there is a tie between Prince Charles, the Prince of Wales, and the American Congress. For example, in the past week or so, the Senate has passed a resolution announcing that English is our only official language. It is meant of course to bar Spanish, which the Mexican immigrants speak.…

  • BERNICE and WERNER’S UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

    Bernice Hughes and Werner Friedli, two likeable people, have been waiting since 1944 for answers to their questions. At this late date, I am still unable to provide them with suitable answers. But I will offer their questions to you in the hope that you may have a suggestion or two. Let’s deal first with…

  • THE 0-FER FACTOR

    The Salvation Army, the Baptist Young People’s Union, the Veterans of Foreign Wars, and the Luther League (Missouri Synod) have approved this essay only on the ground that I disclose that it is a political and not a baseball essay. But to make my point it is necessary to call on the practice of baseball…