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D.A.D.T. – R.I.P. ~~
In the year 1867, the Marquess of Queensberry published some rules concerning the sport of boxing. I am told that the fellow who has the title of marquess ranks below a duke and above an earl in the British peerage. The rules contained the essentials of good sportsmanship. There was to be no hitting when…
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CESAR AND ANDY
Under ordinary circumstances, my wife and I go grocery shopping twice a week, on Tuesdays and Fridays. Again, if ordinary circumstances hold, we have found on Tuesdays, there are two attendants who retrieve the carts over the large parking lot and bring them back so they may be used again. When the two cart retrievers…
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CATTYWAMPUS AND ENGLISH LANGUAGE THOUGHTS
This does not purport to be a definitive essay on the English language. It is simply an interim report on the current usage of the language as well as one reference to a word that has ancient connections. These days I am obliged to hold onto a sighted person leading me about. This is not…
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CERUMEN
This essay should properly be called, because of its shortness, an essayette. Cerumen is a reasonably important health problem and I would not want the shortness of this essay to detract from its importance. If the truth were known, it would disclose that the proprietor of Ezra’s Essays is now prepared to throw its readers…
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CAPTAIN BELL’S INNATE DECENCY
This is an essay about my military career which ended about 65 years ago. The essay will necessarily record the incompetence of the United States Army but at the same time will celebrate the decency of one commissioned officer. This essay is being recorded at this time prior to my brain delivering a “don’t answer”…
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BAMBI AND THE SEASON OF THE RUT
In the 13 years that Ezra’s Essays have appeared in print, the editor has manfully and cheerfully tackled such third-rail subjects as politics and religion. But in that long period of time, there have been a dearth of essays on the subject of sex. We are going to try to make up for that dearth…
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BLOWING SMOKE RINGS
Let me take you back perhaps 25 years when it seemed to me that almost everyone smoked cigarettes. Cigarettes require fire at their tips. The fire may be provided by a cigarette lighter, or by a kitchen match, and it can also be provided by matches contained in a small packet that fits precisely in…
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ASKING AND TELLING
I have no intention of misleading the readers of Ezra’s Essays into believing that this essay has anything to do with the current law that forbids members of the military services from disclosing their sexual preferences. Quite to the contrary, this essay has to do with Miss Chicka, my wife, and with blindness. Apparently…
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THE AL GORE SEPARATION
In recent weeks Al Gore, the former vice-president, and his wife Tipper announced that they are going to be separated after 40 years of marriage. This has set the news hawks and news hens to digging for details as to why the Gores are ending their marriage after such a long time. I will have…
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A FEW WORDS ABOUT READING AND LISTENING
For reasons unknown to me, I have been a voracious reader from the time Miss Brantley rescued me from the girls’ room. I have told the story before but perhaps it bears repeating. On my first day in school in the Forsythe School in Clayton, Missouri, I felt the need to relieve myself and walked…