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PREGNANT PONDERINGS ON POETIZING
Every pulpit pounding preacher will tell you that ecclesiastical confessions are essential to good health. I imagine those preacher were made ecstatic a week or two ago when Bernie Madoff confessed that he had committed eleven felonies. Such preachers will tell you that confessions will fix any ailment known to man or beast. And so…
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A TREATISE ON BEING ELEGANTLY, ENORMOUSLY, AND ENTHUSIASTICALLY SCREWED
A casual observer reading only the title of this essay might conclude that the essay has to do with relations between the sexes. Anyone who knows the proprietor of Ezra’s essays with his seminarian background would dismiss that thought out of hand. But upon further consideration, this essay has to do with diddling. I do…
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IS THE POPE NOW NEARING HIS DOTAGE?
There are some observers who might regard the heading of this essay as a provocative statement. However, to Pope watchers such as myself, the statement is justified by a sharp drop in the Pope’s voltage which may be due to a short circuit. Two particular statements have led me to conclude that this octogenarian Pope…
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ASPECTS OF MORALITY
Earlier today I was stunned to learn that March 4th is the 83rd birthday of Alan Greenspan, the former head of the Federal Reserve Board. You may recall Mr. Greenspan, who often testified to Congress using sentences that could not be untangled. Andrea Mitchell, the television reporter, says that when he proposed marriage to her, she…
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SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT
In a recent essay, I deplored the fact that the tags were missing from the backs of my recently purchased tee shirts. This resulted in my putting the shirts on backwards about 35 to 40% of the time. So I wrote to the president of the Nordstrom company and told him that whoever made the…
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A TINY CANDLE AT THE END OF A LONG DARK TUNNEL
When the United States began to sink into the quagmire that engulfs our banking industry, the stock market, and our fortunes, most politicians contended that we were only in a recession. Those of you who have been reading Ezra’s essays for a few years will be aware that for more than a year I have…
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IN PRAISE OF BRIGHT, INTELLIGENT PREACHERS
There is an oxymoronic quality to this essay which I hope will meet with your favor. The oxymoron has to do with a writer whose belief is in non-belief, who then publishes an essay in praise of preachers. But that is what I intend to do in this essay about preachers. For more than 66…
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FOR THE LOVE OF MUSIC
I have no way of telling you whether eternal life really exists. I cannot tell you about this condition because I have not yet died. However, when the time comes for me to answer the roll call up yonder, there will be certain things that I will miss greatly. Naturally I will miss my wife…
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CONFESSIONS THAT WILL EXCITE AND ENRICH THE SOUL
It is the standard belief of preachers that confessions are beneficial to the soul. My religious beliefs or lack thereof bar me from knowledge about the soul. However, yesterday, February 17, brought three confessions that must have benefited every soul known to man or cattle. The first was a confession by Alex Rodriguez, the $30…
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AN IMPROBABLE MARRIAGE
Giving titles to the essays that are produced at this desk is not an automatic function. I suspect that most people would believe that after the essay is written, it would be titled. My mind works in a perverse way. I ordinarily title the piece and then go on to write it. I suspect that…