Ezra's Essays

Category: 2009

  • A REPRISE ON THISA AND THATA

    Those of you who read Ezra’s Essays may recall an essay on Ben Bernie. He was a popular orchestra leader from the 1920s through the end of the 1950s. When he was pleased with the performance of his orchestra, he would say, “Yousa, yousa, yousa.” And when he was going to play a variety of…

  • THE GREAT SUBTRACTION CRISIS

    In the past two months Americans and, indeed, the rest of the civilized world have been troubled by the banking crisis as well as the collapse on Wall Street. Recent reports suggest that the banks are now turning a hefty profit and reading the stock tables will suggest that the stock market is recovering. From…

  • CONCUPISCENCE

    The Reverend Charles E. Coughlin was a Catholic priest in Royal Oak, Michigan, who had a radio contract to deliver weekly sermons. I am not certain as to the extent of the network that he broadcast over but am reasonably certain that it covered the eastern half of the United States. His broadcasts started in…

  • THE THREE-BASE ERROR

    In the great game of baseball, if a fielder lets a ground ball go between his legs or if an outfielder fails to catch the ball and the runner winds up on third base, it is called a three-base error. Errors of this sort are to be avoided like the plague. But I am involved…

  • THE BEST

    I know that this essay will arouse some antagonisms but it has been in my mind for several months and it must now be dictated, regardless of the outcome. The essay here will have to do with the best workers, and those who seem to enjoy life in the fullest. According to my estimates, the…

  • HOBGOBLINS AND GANDER SAUCE

    The explanation for this current title will probably appear before the end of this essay. This means that those of you who wonder why this lovely title exists will have to hold on for a while and it will give you a vital interest in the outcome of this little piece. Over the 11 years…

  • THE MOTHER OF ALL ARTHRITIS ATTACKS

    Seven or eight years ago, the pain of arthritis descended upon my back and legs.  I sought advice from the Summit Medical Group, which has a staff of renowned physicians.  After a time, I visited the orthopedic department and saw Dr. Corona, who listened to my symptoms but who did very little else. I told…

  • IT AIN’T NATURAL

    For a short time, I have debated between the current title of “It Ain’t Natural” and another title, “Ez-ree Revisited.” But in the end I selected the title of the business about naturalness. There is a certain amount of nostalgia in this essay because it has to do with the original Ezra, my father. Ezra…

  • FANS

    In earlier essays, there was a tribute to railings and to our bashful commodes, both of which bring joy and comfort to our lives. In that same spirit, I believe it is time to pay tribute to fans of all kinds. For the first twelve or thirteen years of my life, I was forced to…

  • SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT AGAIN

    Over the years, the telephone service provided by the Verizon Corporation was interrupted frequently. In one case, over the Memorial Day holiday of this year, service went out on a Sunday and we were told, according to the recorded announcement, that it would not be restored until Wednesday. I found this, as an old telephone…