Ezra's Essays

Category: 2008

  • JUST WORDS

    A good many years ago, Will Rogers, the noted American humorist, said of himself, “I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.” Judging by the time it has taken to nominate the 2008 Democratic presidential candidate, it appears that Will Rogers probably had it right. At this point, we…

  • COMPLETELY RANDOM THOUGHTS

    Those of you who have long memories may recall that there were a series of essays three or four years ago that were entitled “Random Thoughts While Shaving.” Now similar random thoughts continue to occupy my alleged mind. I had hoped that they would be transient in nature, but unless I record them, they will…

  • USA! USA! USA! ETC.

    As my career with the Bell System neared its end, AT&T decided that it could be served best by my spending the final seven or eight years being involved in Correspondent Relations. The term Correspondent Relations is an anachronism and an antiquated description of my duties. When the various telephone companies around the world began…

  • A MAMMOGRAM FOR JOHN MCCAIN’S BRAIN

    This is not a political essay but rather it is a call for neurological help or even psychiatric help for Mr. McCain’s brain. Mr. McCain’s brain needs at least a mammogram before he sets off to encounter the Democratic presidential contender in an effort not to make a fool of himself. There is a bit…

  • SABBATH CONCEPTIONS

    I am well aware that there are those in the medical profession who will tell you that your old essayist has no expertise on the subject of conception. There was a time many years ago when I was involved in that process as a part of an experiment by the medicos at Washington University in…

  • Un: THE NEW NEOLOGISM

    Yesterday, which was Maundy Thursday in the Christian calendar, was marked by a dispatch from Mosul, Iraq, filed by a New York Times reporter named Solomon Moore. In an effort to dispel the forces that oppose our holy mission in Iraq, Solomon Moore reports that there have been “several stepped-up attacks” on suspected insurgent hangouts.…

  • ON POINTLESSNESS

    As I have marched and slunk through this long life of mine, it has been my privilege to witness all kinds of efforts that have a point. At the same time, there have been numerous examples that escape enumeration where pointlessness seems to prevail. Let me give you an example or two. On one occasion,…

  • “LOWER THAN A WHALE TURD”

    This essay has to do with the emotional state of a sinner who knows that on the morrow, he will be required to deliver an apology or an explanation for his conduct. In this case, the apology or explanation must flow not necessarily from the head, the heart, the stomach, the crotch, or the femur…

  • CHUTZPAH

    When politicians of the Joe McCarthy type insist that English is the only language to be spoken in this country, they are missing a glorious opportunity for words of other languages that make the English language more colorful. One of those words is chutzpah, which I assume is Hebrew in nature or perhaps even Yiddish.…

  • FRENCH KISSING AND WHATEVER BECAME OF THE MISSIONARY POSITION

    During the 23 years of my retirement, I have attempted to devote my life to prayer and peaceful meditation. From time to time, there are developments that make it no longer possible to pray and meditate peacefully as I desire. This is one of those interruptions in that we are confronted with a sexual double-header…