A euphemism is a Greek word which allows for substitution of an agreeable word or inoffensive expression for one that may offer something unpleasant. Death is almost always an unpleasant subject, so it is no surprise that euphemisms will be used, in fact, they abound.
For the act of dying or being dead, we may say that a person has cashed in his chips. Or some people say the person is now at peace having laid down his burden. Sometimes people may say he has gone home to rest or to his reward assuming that a heaven is his goal. Some may say the person has passed.
Some may say that the person is no longer with us or has gone to glory. Some may say that there is a person missing from our ranks or a person missing as we sit down at the table. Also, “We lost him.” It may not be much of an improvement, but to say that a person has lost his life may be marginally better than saying he or she died.
The United States Army calls them casualties. There were some wounded and some were killed, so casualties is a broader term than one might imagine. Some people might say the person is simply gone. Military and police figures may say that a person cannot be accounted for. When people are missing, all of us hold out hope that they will turn up, even though we know the odds are against it.
To leave us is to depart, drop, expire, perish, succumb and to decease. Slang words are such as check out, croak, or to kick off. Others say bit the dust, cashed in, gave up the ghost, kicked the bucket or breathed one’s last. Any way it may be cut, death has many euphemisms.
When a dictator dies, such as Josef Stalin or Adolf Hitler, people contend that they are in hell where they have long belonged. When death occurs, there are loved ones who are reluctant to accept that fact. They say he (or she) is with me all the time; he can’t be dead.
It is obvious that death is a distasteful word and often difficult for many people to face. Even in the military services where death is a frequent visitor, the word hardly ever becomes routine. Often soldiers and sailors and marines try – unsuccessfully – to ignore it. There often is a struggle to make the word death pass our lips. And so euphemisms are used. We must be grateful to the Greeks for their contribution to mankind’s comfort.
Cemeteries have geographic place names or non-distinctive names such as Oak Hill Cemetery. Others have more colorful names implying peaceful interment. For example, there is Eternal Rest Cemetery or there is a Gate of Heaven Cemetery. Another is Heavenly Rest Cemetery. An animal cemetery in New Jersey is called “Still Meadow Animal Rest Cemetery.” Eternal rest is always assured.
Enduring a drawn out funeral ceremony is a spur to find another way. The body is prepared by an embalmer using cosmeticians. It is housed in an expensive coffin that will shortly be buried to start the rotting process. Seeking to avoid this distasteful ceremony, undertakers now offer pre-paid funeral plans with no frills. The ones in effect here at our house pay us a 5% annual premium which goes to cover the higher cost of future funerals or cremations. When a subscriber to the pre-paid plan expires or dies or turns up his toes, the funeral director is notified and he or she takes care of everything. And remember, a 5% annual premium is paid by the plan.
But in the prepaid contract for this work on this dead person, there is no way to employ a euphemism. The contract uses the word death. Yet when the funeral director or undertaker sends us his yearly statements, the title for this sort-of-lively publication is called “Choices.” We are slightly confused by the use of the word “Choices” as there is no choice left to make; we have a binding contract.
Another place that uses the word, “Choice” is the former Hemlock Society. For many years, the Hemlock Society has had our support and financial contributions. The organization gives help to people who suffer from painful illnesses that can’t be cured. Many are aged and in severe pain. The Hemlock Society offers such people thoughts about ending their lives of misery.
Of course, it is a form of euthanasia. In our minds, in some cases, euthanasia may be preferable to a life of great pain. We offer it to cats and dogs when they are diagnosed with an incurable illness, but the authorities deny it to human beings. In animal terms, it is called, “putting them down” or “to sleep.” The most well known euthanatist was Doctor Jack Kevorkian who is now serving a long prison sentence in Michigan for his work to euthanize willing patients.
In any case, the Hemlock Society was named after the poisonous hemlock which the Greeks used to execute criminals. The most famous person executed in this fashion was the philosopher Socrates. Ah, but the desire to drop references to all things associated with death led the Society to adopt the name, “End of Life Choices.” They still have our support, but most of us had no trouble with Hemlock Society.
Lawyers who write living wills and regular wills are denied the luxury of using euphemisms for death. The words are spelled out clearly throughout the documents. And we find that Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations has four pages in the index listing references to death. But that is no help to lawyers.
Death has many names and none of them make it much easier to bear. We should be thankful to the ancient Greeks who invented euphemisms. All things considered, euphemisms probably help in making the unbearable news a little more bearable. Maybe they do. On the other hand, maybe they don’t.
E. E. CARR
January 17, 2004
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Pleasantly surprised to come across a good old-fashioned language piece; I haven’t published one in almost half a year! This is the last one that made it to the site. For the record, of 631 essays now on the site, a solid 93 — 15% — are tagged as “language.” I think that there’s probably a way higher occurrence of language pieces in the chronologically later essays, since during early essays he was still focused on recounting memories, and doing more involved essays that he could storyboard and plan out pre-blindness. Language essays are more cerebral, and tend to be shorter, and he could presumably just grind one out by thinking about it for a while without having to call back long-past details.