On Tuesday evening, June 28th, the peerless President took over the broadcasting networks to ask for patience and understanding as the ill-gotten Iraqi war proceeds well into its third year. The theme was the well worn phrase, “As the newly trained Iraqis stand up, we Americans can stand down.” Emperor Rumsfeld said a week before the speech, that the Iraqi insurgency could go for another twelve years, so there is no real urgency for us to prepare for “standing down.” We aren’t going anywhere.
Two things seemed to dominate my mind as Bush read his script. As Bush spoke, he wore his American flag lapel pin which is de rigueur for everyone in his administration. From that display, it was apparent that he was some sort of an American. It is always good to clear that up.
Secondly, as Bush read his speech, there were echoes of previous announcements from the same source imploring the “enemy to bring it on.” Now that the “enemy” has brought it on, Bush is bewildered. A further thought had to do with the announcement from the flight deck of the Abraham Lincoln more than two years ago in front of the “Mission Accomplished” sign that combat operations in Iraq were over. We had won. The only missing link was a victory parade down Broadway.
Now, Bush was asking for “patience” for a war that Emperor Rumsfeld says may go on for another twelve years. So you see why your ancient essayist is buffaloed or bewildered or completely baffled.
Bush camped on the idea that as the newly trained Iraqi forces took over fighting the thugs and dead-enders, we could “stand down.” As Bush has said many times in the past, we are fighting the thugs et al “over there so that we don’t have to fight them here”. He repeated that theme again in his June 28th speech.
On its face, this is a preposterously silly argument. When was the last time an Arab army or any Arab organization attempted to occupy the United States? There simply is no Arab capability to fight a war on these shores – and everyone knows that. But Bush read his script and other people rolled their eyes.
If things go swimmingly as far as training Iraqi forces goes, they will be in charge of murdering Arabs and fellow religionists in Iraq. They will be our agents in making certain that the unpleasant aspects of war are fought “over there” and absolutely not “over here.” We can then “stand down” and come home, knowing that our Iraqi friends and allies, formerly “the enemy,” will be diligent in keeping the thugs and Rumsfeld’s dead-enders in Baghdad and not in Crawford, Texas. This is nothing less than blessed assurance.
The Iraqi forces will become our protectors. Not only can we “stand down,” but taxes can be reduced because there will be no need for the monstrous defense budget. Roads can be repaired and Bush will now have enough money to send men to Mars. There will now be a cabinet level Department of Faith with our government providing the funds for Evangelic Baptists to go to Iraq and convert all those heathens to Christianity.
When the Iraqi forces clean up their country, it is obvious that they will be happy to go to North Korea to put them in line. From Pyongyang, it will be a small matter to make China toe the line.
Your old essayist is numbed because he failed to see the glorious aspects to our being able to “stand down.” What a wonderful outcome to a war which started over weapons of mass destruction and as Bush and Madame Rice said, “a mushroom cloud” rising from those WMD’s.
Americans are lucky to have the Bush administration running our government. Yes, blessed assurance is absolutely the right hymn to sing.
E. E. CARR
July 4, 2005
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I can’t be sure, but I think I can detect some sarcasm here.