The basic question that this essay proposes is “Where are the preachers now that you need them?” According to news accounts, we are now into the seventy-seventh day of the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Pious pilgrims, such as myself, have searched for answers. We have made inquiries along ecclesiastical lines but have received no satisfactory answers. What we need here is someone to blame it on, because it is clearly a matter of heavenly intervention in the affairs of man. But no answers are forthcoming, which causes us to ponder our faith in the system.
This was not the case in the matter of hurricane Katrina. When Katrina took place, the city of New Orleans and the surrounding territories were largely wiped out. In that case, His Holiness Pat Robertson spelled out chapter and verse for God being pissed off. Let me start from the beginning.
Prior to the hurricane taking place, Christians were observing the Lenten season. As everyone knows, on Tuesday, before Lent starts, the people in New Orleans celebrate Mardi Gras with a giant parade. His Holiness Reverend Robertson gave us a reason why the hurricane took place. At that time of year in New Orleans, warm weather is the order of the day. On this particular day, the weather was quite warm. As the parade passed through the streets of New Orleans, the women standing on the floats felt obliged to take off their shirts. I am told that these young women were completely nude from the waist up. Their duties had to do with distributing traditional beads to the onlookers. Making sure that everyone gets a set of beads is arduous work and so the young women on the floats tend to sweat a bit. It is for this reason that they removed their blouses and were nude from the waist up.
There are those who prayerfully thought that the young women should have worn corsets which can easily be bought from the Sears Roebuck catalogue. But in point of fact, not a single young person on the floats was wearing a corset or anything else. I suppose that if I had witnessed the Mardi Gras parade that year, I would have felt the same way and I would have been dumbstruck and wondering why this conduct was taking place. But in point of fact, it did take place and as soon as the Mardi Gras parade ended, His Holiness Pat Robertson began to analyze events.
Now you see, His Holiness Pat Robertson does not necessarily claim to be God, but it is his contention that he is in regular communication with celestial figures such as Jesus, God, and the Holy Ghost. Now the fact is that I will have to admit that I have no communication whatsoever with those celestial figures. So I leave it to His Holiness Pat Robertson to interpret those events for me.
As you will recall, Hurricane Katrina happened in August of the hurricane season that summer. It was devastating to New Orleans and the surrounding territory of Louisiana, Alabama, and Mississippi. But why the celestial powers elected to strike Alabama and Mississippi is beyond my understanding because they had no Mardi Gras parade. But the fact is that his holiness Pat Robertson determined that celestial powers were so pissed off by the women on the floats passing out beads with their breasts exposed, that something simply had to be done about it.
Hurricane Katrina is now behind us and the people of the Gulf are trying to recover. However, about 76 or 77 days ago BP, the giant oil company, had a terrible incident while drilling and oil is now flowing into the Gulf and does not seem to be able to be stopped. But the fact of the matter is that no preacher of any kind has identified this with celestial retribution. Surely there must be a reason for the oil spill by BP. Have we lost the faith or the courage to identify it as the act of a vengeful God? Apparently that is the case. I am as bewildered as the next pious pilgrim. Why no preacher has identified the reason for God’s wrath on the oil spill is beyond my understanding. Perhaps in time or when we reach heaven, we may understand the reason for what is taking place at the moment.
Well there you have my thoughts on Pat Robertson, Hurricane Katrina and the oil spill. We have not answered the question of “Where are the preachers, now that we need them?” No preacher has stepped forward to identify the God or gods that are responsible for the oil spill. Perhaps we will know in time who was responsible, but for the moment we are clueless. Pat Robertson says that God talked to him through his heart. Perhaps if we all had stethoscopes, we could learn what God has to say to Pat. But until the stethoscopes arrive, we will just have to depend upon Pat’s broadcasts to the 700 Club to find out just who is to blame for the oil spill.
E. E. CARR
July 5, 2010
Essay 471
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Kevin’s commentary: Pat Robertson is obnoxious.
That is all.
Addition 9/22/13
LEFTOVERS FROM THE PREACHER ESSAY OF JULY 5, 2010
Now aside from wondering about where the preachers are now that we need them in conjunction with the oil spill, there is one more pressing question. Why is it that Christians wish to turn their religious beliefs into law? Specifically I have in mind the matter of abortion. It seems to me that abortion is a private matter involving a woman and the Church or state has no role whatsoever in determining what she eventually does.
Didn’t the Christian Church ever learn the problems with prohibition? It was said that politicians would sober up long enough to go to their legislative bodies, particularly the Senate and the House, only long enough to pass laws to continue prohibition. Prohibition brought crime to a new level in this country. But the preachers told us that God wanted us to have no contact with beer or gin or vodka. But apparently the lessons were not learned by professional politicians who wished to display their Christian credentials. Can you imagine if the Jews were in the position of the Christians and might order circumcision for everyone? I don’t even want to think about that eventuality.
Finally, there is the matter of the Trinity. It has nothing to do with abortion and prohibition and certainly nothing to do with the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. But the point is that this pious codger has been waiting for 80 some years to have the Trinity explained in understandable terms. When the Christians begin to talk about God in three persons, I must say that I become quite lost. There may be people who understand the concept, but I am not among them. As much as I have prayed and wrung my hands, I cannot get my arms around the Trinity.