Two deaths took place yesterday, December 18. Because the Earth turns from east to west, the first death took place in North Korea. The dictator there, Kim Jong-il, aged 69, died. The civilized world was not impressed by the passing of the North Korean dictator. As might be expected, the North Koreans have required public weepers for the passing of their dictator. They claim that he was beloved. Few of us in the civilized world believe that to be the case.
This date also was marked by the death during the night of my wife’s favorite aunt, Mary Chicka, aged 90. Mary lived in western Pennsylvania in a town called Latrobe, which you may recall was the home of many heavy industries such as the railroads. Aunt Mary graduated from high school and then secretarial school. Along the way, Aunt Mary was also busy with work on her brother’s farm.
As Judy remembers it, before Aunt Mary went to work each day, her job was to put the milk into glass bottles for delivery to the customers. Judy also remembers that after the bottling operation was complete, there were several cats waiting to be served their breakfast. They were polite cats who merely gathered outside the milkhouse door until Mary came to them to serve them their milk. Mary had a continuing interest in the welfare of animals.
During her lifetime she became the favorite aunt of my wife Judith. There was an occasion a few years ago when Aunt Mary was able to visit us in New Jersey. From that brief exposure, I liked Judy’s Aunt Mary very much. The only drawback had to do with her rooting for the Pittsburgh Pirates in baseball instead of the New York Mets or the St. Louis Cardinals. Because Aunt Mary was a genuinely decent person, I tended to overlook those deficiencies.
A few years back, Aunt Mary went to a person who carved headstones and specified that her headstone would read “Aunt Mary Chicka” because in fact everyone that she knew called her Aunt Mary and so it became the inscription on her tombstone.
Mary never married. She lived alone in the town of Latrobe, Pennsylvania until about three years ago when dementia and Alzheimer’s began to sneak up on her. From that point on, she was in two nursing homes, which seemed to work out as well as could be expected.
For a good number of years in her later life, Mary had the great good fortune to be associated with Mrs. Connie Schober. As a matter of fact, Connie did an excellent job of handling Aunt Mary’s affairs when she was no longer able. When Mary was in the nursing homes, it was Connie who frequently visited her and took her to lunch. We are deeply indebted to Connie for the devotion that she showed to Judy’s Aunt Mary.
At the same time, we also wish to pay tribute to Janet Smith, her niece by marriage, who was frequently at Aunt Mary’s side in the nursing home. We are deeply indebted to Janet for the solicitude that she showed Aunt Mary.
The commentators on television and the writers for such publications as The New York Times will not notice the passing of Mary Chicka. I expect that their concentration will be devoted to the passage of Kim Jong-il, the North Korean dictator. But taking one thing with another, it strikes me that Mary Chicka was a beloved figure whose worth to the world was infinitely greater than that of the dictator of North Korea. It will be lonely going forward for my wife but Mary lived a long life. She held off death until her 91st year and now we must face the future without Aunt Mary. But in the final analysis, death must come to all people, including the North Korean dictator and to Mary Chicka. There is no denying the Grim Reaper when he comes to do his work.
And for myself, I can only respond in the way of old soldiers. When one of my comrades passes and leaves a terrible void, I reach for my white cane, stand at attention, and salute while saying, “Well done, Aunt Mary Chicka. Well done indeed for a life well lived.”
E. E. CARR
December 19, 2011
Essay 607
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Kevin’s commentary: I thought this one was really touching, and I wish I could have met her.