If my reading of the calendar is right, today would mark a very bad day for the ultra pious in our midst. Two things have gone violently astray. On this day the President of the United States finally ended his evolving soul searching and announced that he would no longer oppose weddings of gay people. I can only say that it took one hell of a lot of patience for this announcement to come forth. If there ever was a no-brainer, it was the issue of same-sex marriage. But Mr. Obama needed some time to wrestle with this question. He almost wrestled it until his term had expired. But now on this monumental day of May 9, the issue has been joined and Mr. Obama is now finally in favor of same-sex marriages.
For the ultra pious, this news must come as a horrible shock. For nearly 400 years, they have been depending upon the warnings in Leviticus about same-sex marriage. One way or another, Mr. Obama, a true believer in religious exercises, has cast caution asunder and has announced that he favors same-sex marriages.
Now to complete the second piece of bad news for the pious comes the announcement that it appears that if my guts and brains etc. will hold out for the next two or three months, at which time I will celebrate my 90th birthday. Of the two announcements made today, this is by far the most earth-shattering. Let us consider what news this brings to the ultra pious.
According to the King James Version of the Bible, there is a verse that applies to my specific problem. It comes from Psalm 90, Verse 10. In this verse the Biblical injunction the psalmist quotes reads, “The days of our years are threescore years and ten, and if by reason of strength, they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labor and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.”
You see that on this same day the decision to permit same-sex marriages was announced, it became clear that my plans include a celebration of my 90th birthday. This announcement came about as a result of a tip from one of my grandsons who was reviewing the menu for this glorious occasion. The fact of the matter is that my grandson and all of the other celebrants ought to be here consoling me because the upper echelons of the ecclesiastic ranks are highly pissed off at me.
According to my reading of the psalmist, he said that 70 years was plenty and we should then get out of here. He also said that in certain cases, by reason of strength, some of us should hang around for the fourscore anniversary. But he cautioned that those who hang around for the fourscore anniversary should get accustomed to travail of all kinds.
The reason of course that God, Allah, the Holy Ghost, and others are very much pissed off at me has to do with my exceeding even the upper limits of what the psalmist prescribed for human beings. For all that can be determined at this writing, the psalmist must not believe I may hold on for another decade, which would make fivescore, an even one hundred. I am well aware of all the heartache and illnesses that come with prolonged life.
I should say, “Boy, I am really aware of those problems!” But I have no control over that matter and the next celebration will be on August 4, marking my 90th year in this “vale of tears” as my mother said. I had no intention of sticking around this long and if life had really worked out in 1943 I would have, to use the Bible phrase, flown away through the courtesy of the German Air Force and the German anti-aircraft. But I find that such a reason does not register in terms of excusing me for hanging around much too long. I regret that the announcement of my festivities for my 90th birthday occurred on the very same day when Barack Obama announced that his period of cogitation was over and that same-sex marriages would be observed.
I had planned to have Psalm 90, Verse 10 for my sermon to warn others of the grave danger of sticking around too long. But the King James Bible has been here for a little more than 400 years and if astute observers have not noticed what the psalmist had to say, I must assume that it is their tough luck. For myself, I will spend the day in prayerful cogitation, hopefully not as long as the President did. What I wish to cogitate about is this business of flying away.
Years in the Air Force of the United States have taught me that there must be a landing place when we fly away. All things considered, the holy imprimatur is applied to the words of the psalmist. I hope that the psalmist will take notice of my 90th birthday party on the evening of August 4, 2012. I realize that the President and I have transgressed terribly but perhaps this essay will serve to soothe the frigid waters before we all must “fly away.”
E. E. CARR
May 9, 2012
Essay 654
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Kevin’s commentary: and with this, we pretty much hit the last of the publishable 2012 essays. Going to dip into 2011 next, or maybe even mix things up and just start pulling from all sorts of places. I kinda like the idea of maybe running some super old ones alongside the 2011s, and of course new essays will continue to be published as they are written. I’m looking forward to it!
In further bad news for the ultra-pious, Romney just lost and I’m ecstatic.