MUSINGS — Volume II


There was such a demand for the first volume of the essay called Musings, that a second one had to be produced forthwith. A large part of the demand came from me. It seems to me that there is a plethora of thoughts that pervade my musings and ponderings now that driving is done only on an emergency basis.
Cell Phone Pandemonium
An Acela train runs between Boston and Washington. All things considered, it is more than a decent way to travel. So far, there are no intrusive body searches that mar travel by airplane. On top of all that, the fifth car of the Acela train is called a “Quiet” Car where loud talking and cell phones are pretty much banned.
Shortly after the November 2nd election, we visited the World War II Memorial in Washington. On the return trip, we found ourselves toward the end of a long line to board the Acela train. All the seats in the Quiet Car were filled and we were fortunate to find seats in other cars on the train.
As we took our seats, it became obvious that a fairly loud hub-bub was taking place around us. The noise came from all those passengers trying to make cell phone calls. We did not need to eavesdrop. The conversations were so audible that they could be heard and understood from several feet away. For example, in the two and a half hours on the return trip, we heard a hospital administrator who described in great detail, the dire financial plight of his hospital. It became clear that his hospital was one to be avoided at all costs.
Directly behind me was a young woman who wished to discuss with her caller, her prospects for marriage. She also had doubts about her wardrobe and her makeup. We may never know whether she landed the prospective bride-groom as she was still talking when we left the train at Newark. If it had been possible to see the make believe husband-to-be, it would be a public service to tell him she talked too much – and in public.
If you ride the Acela train, arrive early and do your best to get a seat in the Quiet Car. Cell phone callers are a bit much and they disturb musings and ponderings.
Congressional Civility
In his post election remarks, Bush made a feeble pass at joining hands with the opposition for the coming presidential term. His efforts were so feeble, that both houses of Congress paid no attention.
In the Senate, Bill Frist, the Republican majority leader, went to South Dakota to campaign against Tom Daschle, the top Democrat. There had never been such a case of trying to defeat his opposite number as leader of the opposing party. To top it off, when Daschle made his farewell speech to the Senate, Frist kept nearly all of his Republican colleagues out of the chamber. Frist himself came into the chamber for the last two minutes of Daschel’s farewell speech. How utterly smarmy.
When Arlen Specter, (a Republican) of Pennsylvania, came up for Chairman of the Senate Judicial Committee, the right wingers pounded him so thoroughly that he had to retreat from his earlier remark that Bush should send up better qualified judges for appointment. The Evangelical fundamentalists will accept only the repeal of Roe v. Wade. They also want repeal of Social Security and the Medicare laws. Specter is in a difficult position and will not be backed by Bill Frist.
On the House side, Dennis Hastert, the Speaker, refused to call up bills having to do with intelligence reform as suggested by the 9-11 Commission. The bill would have passed easily, but Hastert demands, for the first time in history, that it have a majority among the Republican majority.
One of the committees in the House is chaired by Duncan Hunter of California. Hunter has opposed the intelligence reform bill on the shallowest of grounds. So Speaker Hastert said he would not call for a vote.
There is a strong possibility that Hunter is playing the dog-in-the-manger for George Bush. In a year or two if Hunter’s opposition actually kills the intelligence bill, it will be of considerable interest to see if Hunter is elevated into one of the positions in the White House. That, my friends is the way things are currently being played in the United States government. My musings and reflections are upset by this turn of events.
Does Life Begin at Conception?
In the year 1517, there were people who protested against the Catholic Church. Obviously, they were called Protestants. For nearly 500 years, there have been disagreements in the Christian faith between the Catholics and the Protestants. However, in the election of 2004, there were all kinds of Protestants suddenly agreeing with Catholic beliefs on such matters as abortion and same sex marriage. How much of all this agreement had to do with political expediency remains to be seen.
Late in the campaign, John Kerry, who is a practicing Catholic, announced that in his view, life begins at conception. Kerry simply gave in to outside pressure. There may be theological arguments bearing on this matter, which will not concern us at this moment. What most interests me is the practical effect of life beginning before birth – indeed, at conception. All the cards that are carried in my wallet and all the forms the government sends me, ask me for my date of birth. Under the conception doctrine, none of that will ever apply again. Instead of DOB, it will be DOC.
The only way to establish compliance with the new concept will be for lovers and casual acquaintances to fill out an all inclusive form at the conclusion of each act of love making. It should be on the night table next to the love making bed. Among other points of notification, the form would alert the Census Bureau of an addition to the flock. When sent to the local school authorities, it would alert them to the need for new teachers and to school additions and larger class room space. The form would also apply to drivers licenses, jury duty and entry into bars where alcoholic beverages are sold. Of course, the political parties would have an interest in DOC’s just as the Social Security Administration would want to know about future people to collect benefits.
As you can see, changing from DOB to DOC involves a major undertaking which all depends on the love makers notifying the proper authorities at the earliest possible moment. There are nay-sayers who will ask what if no conception takes place? Those of us who are involved in such demographic matters, will tell you that we have a second form which negates the “NOC,” or “Notice of Conception.” This form which may be found in your local Post Office, is called “ANOC” or “Annulment of Notice of Conception.” E-mail may also be used to file NOC’s and ANOC’s. Prompt notification is the key. All such forms must be filed in sextuplicate copies.
As this important matter is given more thought, it is quite likely that there will be additional agencies of government at all levels that must be served with NOC’s. The important thing to remember is that the success of the Date of Conception Doctrine depends entirely on every lover promptly notifying the authorities instantly so that appropriate planning can take place and Passports issued, etc. using the medical scan for photo ID. Same sex couples will also be required to file a NOC on the ground that miracles do happen.
Every can of Budweiser has a “born on” date to indicate freshness. Does the doctrine of DOC apply also to the Anheuser-Busch Corporation? Obviously, the answer is “yes.” Bud is conceived just like babies.
Lastly, it seems to me as a pre-born-again devotee of religious matters, that replacing DOB (Date of Birth) with DOC (Date of Conception) only gets us part of the way home. To be more holy and more righteous, it is being asked and proposed that we now have a DOI, a Date of Impulse, which leads to Date of Conception. No impulses means no conception. As long as we are engaged in a dive to the bottom on sexual-religious affairs, it seems to me that a DOI and DOC take us backwards into a religiosity unknown to man before.
This whole concept may be more than an ill educated Missourian can master, so wringing of the hands is strongly recommended.
The Private Ryan Foul Up
On Veteran’s Day 2004, the American Broadcasting Company planned to show the prizewinning film, “Private Ryan.” Apparently, the film shows World War II men in combat with all the attendant language that goes with men in a desperate struggle for their lives.
The film was unseen by me but that is of no consequence. In combat situations during World War II, it was my experience that every expletive in the English language was used repeatedly when engaging in combat with the forces of Nazism. In times of rest between combat engagements, every expletive known to me was also used to describe encounters with the enemy.
Let’s get this straight. In war, when men’s lives are on the line, the language does not come from the Reader’s Digest or the Ladies Home Journal or Your Sunday Visitor. In spite of what you may have heard from preachers, men in desperate situations don’t pray; they curse and fight. Those that take time to pray in combat will in all likelihood find themselves and their comrades as dead men. My guess is that in the history of combat in warfare, nearly every soldier finds himself using vile language. That’s the way it is. Anyone who tries to tell you differently doesn’t understand what military service is all about. There may be no atheists in foxholes as the Readers Digest once claimed, but with the language being used by soldiers, it would be difficult to figure that out.
Well, in any case, ABC offered “Private Ryan” to its affiliate stations. Somewhere along the line the American Family Association tried to intervene. In scenes of combat in “Private Ryan,” the “F” word is used on 21 occasions. How horrid! If the film takes two hours, and if the actors portrayed actual soldiers, it is my fairly educated guess that the “F” word and some worse ones would be heard perhaps 2500 times. That’s the way things are. Soldiers are not Billy Graham’s hovering angels. They are soldiers; not preachers.
Not long ago, an essay came from this desk asking whether Americans are colossal prudes. When it comes to ABC affiliates, it appears that 66 of them were scared off by their own prudery or by the prudery of the FCC. Those stations refused to show “Private Ryan.”
Perhaps those stations and the American Family Association may have preferred to see “Snow White” or “Santa Claus” on the Veteran’s Day broadcast. To the idea that some of us believe the fantasy that the world is filled with angels who want to help us with our work, to that extent we are in for a horrible awakening. Ideology cannot replace facts.
A Lament for St. Louis – and Cleveland and Detroit and Newark and Pittsburgh and Kansas City, et al.
In my most recent expeditions to buy shoes, it turns out that foot wear has for some years been produced in Slovenia, Indonesia, Portugal, Ecuador or other foreign locations. As far as can be told, shoe production in the United States is probably pretty close to zero.
In St. Louis, there was a maxim which claimed

First in shoes,
First in booze,
And last in the American League

No one in St. Louis or other similar situated cities is repeating that piece of wisdom anymore. As we have seen, domestic shoe production is largely KAPUT. It certainly is in St. Louis.
When it comes to booze, the big three, Budweiser, Miller and Coors, have driven out the smaller breweries. No more Alpen Brau, no more Heileman, no more Knickerbocker, no more Griesedieck Brothers and no more Falstaff. This is sad news as the big guys swept the table clean.
In St. Louis, the Browns were often contenders for last place in an eight team American League. With expansion, the American League and the National League both have 18 teams. There are three last place teams in each division in both leagues. So there goes one of the St. Louis Browns most significant accomplishments. There is no one last place in the American League any more.
What has happened to St. Louis is symptomatic of dozens of other cities in the United States as the more affluent citizens flee to the suburbs leaving the cities to deal with monumental problems on reduced income. This is bad news for this country. And there will be no help from the Federal Government as cities tend to vote Democratic.
Nearly all of the large cities that we are speaking of supported the arts. The arts can’t exist without patrons and paying customers. There is no such thing as the Far Hills Grand Opera Company or the Bridgewater Symphony Association. Those things belong in and thrive in big cities.
Sad business is what it is. And mighty sad to muse and ponder about it.

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And so my musings and ponderings go on apace with the hope that factual situations may be found in the offerings of the American media. As the “Private Ryan” episode shows us, that is often a forlorn hope.
And of course, all of these considerations could lead to a third series on Musings. This is what happens to old geezers who look out of car windows instead of driving.
E. E. CARR
December 4, 2004
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I wonder how Pop would have felt about Saving Private Ryan if he saw it. I can infer that he considered movies in the same way he regarded fictional books — essentially as a waste of time. It’s kind of refreshing to hear him defend one.
He’d also probably be interested to know that small breweries are back big time, even though he wasn’t a beer drinker either. It is no longer “cool” in most urban areas to get a major brand at a bar.
Finally, I’m hesitant to even put the DOC out on the internet. If Trump has a heart attack and Pence takes over, he’d probably take it seriously.


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