From time to time, there are some shorter subjects that demand the attention of the essayist. To devote a whole essay to these transient items would probably be more than they deserve. On the other hand, to fail to comment on such items would be a significant injustice. And so what we have here is a collection of unrelated developments that are called – for want of better words – Bits and Pieces.
You may recall in a recent essay called, “How I Became a Protestant,” there were allusions to the United States Army moving in mysterious ways. In my case, the mysterious ways go back to 1942. From what we read some 62 years later, the Army continues to move in baffling ways. So we start out this edition of Bits and Pieces with a pair of Army stories.
A 67 Year Old is Being Recalled for Active Duty
After 41 years of active duty, Charles Ham, a Lexington, Kentucky psychiatrist, retired from the Army seven years ago. Colonel Ham thought he was finished with the United States Army after 41 years. Thinking in the Army is a dangerous proposition. This old essayist was told on several occasions during his World War II stint, that soldiers don’t get paid to think. The Army seems to believe that thinking soldiers are dangerous soldiers, hence the ban on cerebral activity. It is amazing to this old soldier that Colonel Ham overlooked this basic fact of Army life.
All of this comes about because Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld does not wish to concede that the Army needs more troops for the mission American soldiers have been asked to perform. So instead of taking in more troops, Rumsfeld and Company has elected to recall 5,600 long discharged veterans who thought their Army days were finished. It would be a matter of great interest to hear what those 5,600 former soldiers had to say when they figured out that the Army wanted to recall them again for active duty.
While there is an urgent need for truck drivers, Humvee mechanics, and combat engineers, as well as administrative people, the Army says Colonel Ham is needed. As a psychiatrist, he may be called to deal with soldiers who are threatening suicide. The suicide rate in Iraq was found to be 17.3% per 100,000 soldiers compared to 12.8% for the Army overall. So maybe the Colonel will have some psychiatric work to do.
Colonel Ham was told that he had a choice of serving three months in a combat zone or spending a year in a domestic military hospital. In any case, Colonel Ham looks like he is headed back to active duty even though he is 67 years old, is a grandfather on Medicare and a man who retired seven years ago from the U.S. Army. With the “stop loss” plan in effect, Colonel Ham might find himself in Army uniform when he celebrates his 75th birthday.
If Colonel Ham is returned to active duty, it would seems only a matter of time until Rumsfeld summons soldiers of the World War II vintage. He had better act promptly as there are only less than 4 million of us left and we are dying at the rate of about 440,000 per year. In a year or two as we age, it may be expected that the rate will go to 500,000 every year.
If Rumsfeld wants to recall me to active duty, he should be warned that this old essayist will refuse to accept the Army dictum that soldiers don’t get paid to think. As all WWII men are at the 80 plus year mark, there isn’t much else for us to do except think.
And finding all of us may be a formidable chore. Colonel Ham said it best. He said, “If after seven years of retirement, the Army tracked me down, they sure ought to be able to find Osama Bin Laden.” It seems to me that the Colonel has a point there.
In announcing the recall of oldsters such as Colonel Ham, the Army used a spokeswoman named Andrea Wales. Her rank is unknown. Spokeswoman Wales said that officers are considered to be management. It must be supposed that enlisted soldiers, who perform the grunt work in the Army, are considered non-management personnel.
Spokeswoman Wales had more to say on the management issue. She said, “The Army puts a lot of money and time into training officers and expects them to rise to the occasion and lead soldiers.” So Colonel Ham, at age 67, is now supposed to lead soldiers in this holy war in Iraq. Something is wrong here.
In any case, Spokesperson Wales made her announcement about all the money and training required of officers shortly after she said that the Army needed truck drivers, Humvee mechanics and combat engineers.
Well now, this old combat Sergeant has two or three thoughts to offer Madam Wales with respect to the proposed recall. My technical training as an enlisted man took place largely on the second shift at Embry Riddell Flight School in Miami. One of the main ingredients in my training program was to avoid being killed because that generates enormous amounts of paper work which the Army would like to avoid.
A second thought has to do with the fact that airplanes of WWII were propeller driven. On the second shift in the dark, it was essential that we try to avoid being killed by not backing into a rotating propeller on an engine being tested or as we would say, being “run up.” The instructor of our class said that rotating propellers would “make hamburger meat out of us” instantly. This may be a tautology about hamburger meat, but none of the non-management men ever backed into a rotating propeller, which might now make us eligible to be recalled.
My urgent suggestion for Rumsfeld is that the Army should consider recalling Admiral Harry Livermore of the Navy and Brigadier General Howard Davis of the 8th Air Force before any thought be given to my own recall. Those former officers have had excellent training and good eye sight which is required for truck drivers and Humvee mechanics. Both are a little older than this elderly writer which means that they have more experience to offer the Army. Their addresses are know to me which is better than Colonel Ham’s idea about finding Osama Bin Laden. Furthermore, both are Phi Beta Kappa candidates from Ivy League universities in the Midwest. On the other hand, my educational achievements ended at the high school level where it was difficult for me to write long sentences. Fractions and long division were beyond my understanding. In short, the Army would be infinitely better off recalling Davis and Livermore rather than to deal with my obvious shortcomings. My contribution will be to cheer as they are led away at the induction station.
As soon as we can find out where Spokeswoman Wales works, my thoughts will be offered to her. If she tells me that enlisted men don’t get paid for thinking, perhaps that will be a sure sign that the Army has stayed true to its ideals. In other words, the Army has “stayed the course.”
Finally, it is my fervent hope that Admiral Livermore and Brigadier Davis find Colonel Ham after their recall to active duty. Both of these gallant soldiers may need for the Colonel to provide psychiatric counseling as we stay the course in Iraq.
For myself, there will be two blue stars in my living room window in tribute to those two fearsome soldiers.
ABAPIA
It goes without saying that blindness is never a laughing matter. Blindness causes a person to lead an entirely different lifestyle from the style he had planned. The loss of vision means that dreams have to be altered or forgotten. For a man, it means a sense of diminishment as he loses his independence and is forced to rely on the generosity of others. A woman must have the same reaction to the onset of blindness.
There are, however, a couple of sidelights that go with the loss of visual acuity. The first involves a 24 year U. S. Army Ranger from Blairsville, Pennsylvania, named Sergeant Jeremy Feldbusch.
In February of last year, Sgt. Feldbusch left for the war in Iraq. Two months later, he came back to the United States blind. The prognosis for him ever seeing again is dim or non-existent.
On April 3rd, Sgt. Feldbusch was in a platoon of Rangers guarding the Haditha Dam, northwest of Baghdad along the Euphrates River. An artillery shell exploded about 100 feet away. Part of the shell’s casing sent an inch long piece of steel through his right eye. It tumbled through his sinuses and lodged in the left side of his brain. It severely damaged the optic nerve of his left eye and sprayed bone splinters throughout his brain.
As you can imagine, the damage to his brain was severe. His social skills and his personality were affected by damage to the brain’s frontal lobe. When this happens, people tend to become angry and more aggressive. In short, there is a significant change in their behavior.
He remained in a coma for five weeks. When he emerged from his coma, surgeons at the Brooke Army Medical Center had done all they could do for him. And so this six foot two inch Ranger was sent home to Blairsville as a blind man.
In December, 2003, the New York Times sent Jeffrey Gettleman to Blairsville to interview Sgt. Feldbusch. Gettleman is a skilled reporter who has spent more than one tour in Iraq. The long report he filed with the Times perhaps said it all in its headline. It said, “A Soldier’s Return to a Dark and Moody World.” The Sergeant told Gettleman of the dreams and ambitions he had lost that day in Iraq. Becoming an Army officer is one ambition that has been lost. “Gone,” was the way Sgt. Feldbusch put it. It might be supposed that any plans of marriage or even taking a date out are probably also “gone.”
Gettleman’s story in the Times is not an inspirational piece. It is nothing other than a pragmatic and a factual account of the life of a 24 year old blind man with brain damage. Not much inspiration in those facts.
This old essayist likes to cite names and dates and pounds and square feet in his essays. In this case, the essayist misplaced the clipping about the visit of a blind World War II veteran had with Sgt. Feldbusch. But the facts are clear. The old soldier, who had heard about Gettleman’s Times story, went to Blairsville in an attempt to cheer up Sgt. Feldbusch.
You will note that there is no indication that the old soldier went to Blairsville to “see” Sgt. Feldbusch. He “visited” him. While the two conversed, the old soldier disclosed that he had lost his vision in an infantry battle in World War II. In an effort to inspire Sgt. Feldbusch, he recounted that after the Army discharged him, he ran a successful business. While running the business, he acquired a wife and seven children followed. So according to the old GI, blindness isn’t necessarily the end of the line.
Before he left Sgt. Feldbusch, the old GI explained the doctrine of ABAPIA. This, of course, is an acronym much like the WWII expressions of SNAFU and FUBAR. ABAPIA has to do with water glasses being knocked over and doors that have moved enough to cause a blind man to hit his head on the jamb. It has to do with asking for a drink of water because the blind man can’t locate the sink. And it has to do with stumbling on stairways because of miscalculations about where the steps are located. There is no problem about running down to the drug store to buy a newspaper because blind men can’t read or drive. And it also has to do with not watching a ball game. This is what ABAPIA is concerned with. The old GI tried to tell Sgt. Feldbusch that all these inconveniences are annoying, but the idea is to overcome them and make the best of a bad situation. There was no indication that Feldbusch bought the suggestion.
There have been no recent reports from Blairsville, so we don’t know if Sgt. Feldbusch ever adopted the doctrine of ABAPIA. Every old soldier wishes him well, but it may be a long journey in a “Dark and Moody World.”
For those of you who weren’t alive during World War II, SNAFU means “Situation Normal, All Fouled Up”. FUBAR is the acronym for “Fouled Up Beyond All Recognition.” Because this will be read by innocent angelic children, the real word that should be used when SNAFU and FUBAR are used is the “F” word and may be found on page 505 of the 11th Edition of the Merriam Webster Dictionary. It is the indelicate word Chaney used in his diatribe against Senator Leahy.
Now about ABAPIA. That means, “Ain’t Blindness a Pain in the Ass.” Many of us know a little about blindness and we are enthusiastic subscribers to the doctrine of ABAPIA.
Perhaps it could be argued that the blind GI from World War II had no reason to intrude on Sgt Feldbusch’s “moody” existence. From my perspective, he was doing his best to help another soldier who was grievously wounded in battle. So my inclination is to salute the old GI and to thank him for his contribution of ABAPIA to the English language.
E. E. CARR
July 30, 2004
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I think Pop went completely blind in 2005, which was after this essay was published, so that puts a bit of an interesting spin on it. He was of course very familiar with blindness regardless since it ran (and continues to run) in his family. The real question though is whether being at risk for glaucoma and baldness — not sure which is worse — is worth the tradeoff for a slice of Pop’s wit. I’m leaning towards “yes,” but get back to me at 40 and 85.
Poor Sgt. Feldbusch, though. One piece of metal taking out both eyes and part of the brain is pretty nuts. I want to call it a freak occurrence, but in war I guess that’s pretty par for the course. Despite the awful toll that blindness takes, I think that the personality changing element is probably the scariest part to me. It’s really easy to think of one’s “self” or “mind” as being distinct from the bunch of meat that it sits in, but the reality is that if you poke said meat the wrong way, you can become a completely different person. That feels incredibly wrong to me, but it is what it is. Alzheimer’s is similarly scary as hell.
And on that happy note, see you for “How I Became a Protestant,” followed shortly by part 2 of this instance of Bits and Pieces.