Perhaps it is fair to say that every essay writer – or the writer of any commentary – will encounter items not long enough for an essay, but which are still appropriate for some recognition and some observations. Some of these left over thoughts may be a remark or it may be a slightly longer series of developments or events.
And so to acknowledge these odd pieces, this old essayists has already published three “Bits and Pieces” stories covering a wide variety of subjects. Currently, my desk is overflowing with odd items which need to be recognized. It is proposed to lead off “Bits and Pieces – Part 4” with a little baseball story which came back to me after a reminder from a nephew who still resides in the suburbs of St. Louis, the home territory for the Carr clan. It is called, “I’m Everybody”.
I’M EVERYBODY
On Sundays in Spring, Summer and Fall, there were some young ballplayers who comprised a team in a semi-pro league which played in Fairgrounds Park in St. Louis.
Most times we were not paid. In those cases where the players were paid, they would receive at most about five dollars for a game or games on Sunday afternoons. The fact that it was called a “Semi-Pro League” was as much for the players to brag about as it was to play for pay like the major and minor league ballplayers did. The time was 1939, 1940 and 1941 when this country was deep in the grasp of the Great Depression. At the time, I worked in filling stations in suburban St. Louis. In most work weeks, as the youngest attendant, it fell to me to put in 6 or 6½ days per week. Whenever I could get off on Sunday afternoons, it was my intent to play baseball.
The owner of the club that I hooked up with was Gus Borbein who operated the Borbein-Young Auto Parts Service in North St. Louis. Gus was a rough hewn character who was not always aware of the rules of polite society. Gus was an action figure. Subtlety was nowhere in his make-up. If a play went against his team, Gus would stand up and shout. He did not say, “Kill the Ump,” but his language and gestures left no doubt about his feelings. Generally speaking, Gus gave his players $5 for a game or games on Sunday afternoon. There were weeks when he told us that he had had a bad week, so his players played for less than $5 or nothing at all. That $5 salary may seem like chump change today, but at the time my salary at the filling stations averaged less than $18 per week. So the money earned from Gus Borbein’s ball club was very welcome.
There were no fancy uniforms. Some of us had uniform tops left over from high school clubs. The point to be made here is that there were no uniform shirt fronts to sew the name of our team on as the St. Louis Cardinals or Browns had. In short, the announcer who shouted our names and positions into a megaphone would use whatever name the owner of the club gave him.
Gus liked to emphasize that he had all kinds of automobile parts. So one week we might be introduced as the Borbein-Young Leaf Springs. The next week, it might be Inertia Starters. The announcer balked when Gus wanted us to be introduced as the “Lock Nuts,” which were new at that time.
Now we come to France Laux, the sports announcer for radio station KMOX. Laux and Johnny O’Hara, from station WIL, would often interview players and record their voices for use on later radio broadcasts. In the case of France Laux, he would feature such interviews on his program called “Stars of Tomorrow,” I believe.
His interviews were all pretty much the same. He might say, “Here’s a good looking ballplayer. Let’s find out who he is.” The ballplayer was asked to remember a couple of lines like, “Hello everybody. My name is Joe Jones.” I never thought anyone could mangle those two lines, but our center fielder could – and did.
The centerfielder was a ball hawk and a pretty good hitter. My recollection is that he was Vernon Ludloff. When France Laux turned on his recording machine, he said to Vern, “And who is this star of tomorrow?” Vern replied in a loud voice, “Hello Vern Ludloff. I’m everybody.” Laux laughed so hard that I don’t remember if they ever did it over.
This incident, now over 63 years old, was of no great consequence, but it supplied me with a title of a Bits and Pieces essay. After all these years, I still snicker when the thought enters my mind, “I’m Everybody!”
MUSIC – AS BAD AS ADULTERY OR APOSTASY
This old essayist does not consider himself an expert on the various religions that are practiced throughout the world. On the other hand, a good bit of the music that has been composed has some reference to religion. It seems to me that such music is pleasant to hear even if one does not agree with the religious lyrics.
But there are two entries that have no use whatsoever for music in any form. It is opposed on religious grounds. The ban applies to every kind of music be it rock and roll, jazz, opera or dance tunes. It may be that dancing to music presents two mortal sins in the two faiths in question. The first is the Taliban in Afghanistan. The second is the Wahabi sect which prevails in Saudi Arabia. These are very stern faiths. Hatred seems to be an integral part of both the Taliban faith as well as in the Wahabi sect.
Both of these faiths consider music of any kind as evil as adultery or adherence to Christianity or the Jewish religions. This sort of evil often calls for the death penalty.
Now in some cases where music is played with unintelligible lyrics and with the male performer being nude to the waist, and with no form to the so called music – there is a tendency to agree with the Taliban or with the Wahabis. But to say all music is beyond the vale and will cause adherents of the Islamic faith to spend eternity in hell is quite incomprehensible to those of us who love music.
Have they ever heard a composition by Verdi or Rossini, or by Rodgers and Hammerstein or by Gershwin? I suppose that sort of Western music is considered decadent and evil in Afghanistan and in Saudi Arabia, so kill the musicians and send them to hell! It may be that John Ashcroft would feel at home in both places.
If the Jews would join in singing, “Onward Christian Soldiers” in Afghanistan or in Saudi Arabia, it might provoke some interesting results. Or perhaps, if the Baptists and Catholics would join in chanting, “Kol Nidre” on the eve of Yom Kipper, it is possible, but not likely, that the Arabs in question might develop a burning desire to go to Jerusalem. And if the Episcopalians can forget their debate over a homosexual bishop in New Hampshire, they could join in the songfest as well. My mother would insist on singing every verse of “Amazing Grace” to everyone, Jew, Christian and all the varieties of the Islamic faith. But being executed is a terrible price to pay for a little music.
E. E. CARR
12-25-03
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There’s something pretty adorable about the “I’m everybody” line. Maybe he was just being profound! Or maybe he was setting himself up for stardom by casting himself as the everyman. But most likely he just got nervous on the radio — makes a good story either way.