The king of Crawford, Texas, George III, has frequently said that he consults with outside experts on monumental decisions, but in the end he says he relies on his “gut feelings.” Reliance on King George’s gut feeling has brought on the disaster in Iraq and the so called war on terror. While King George says that he consults with other people, the fact is that he consults with Cheney and Rumsfeld, and primarily, his guts. His “gut feeling” has led us to the invasion of Iraq, quite simply the biggest blunder in American foreign relations in our history.
In the early 1990’s when Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait, the chief decider’s father gathered a coalition of nations which resulted in the route of Saddam’s army. The rich Middle Eastern nations also picked up the tab for the costs of the war in Kuwait. When the route of Saddam’s army in Kuwait was complete, there was much consternation to the effect that the Allies should have pursued Saddam to Baghdad to overthrow his regime. Shortly after the war, George Herbert Walker Bush, the father of the Chief Decider, and his gifted National Security Adviser, Brent Scowcroft, wrote a book. In that book there are these lines which explain why the Allies did not seek to go to Baghdad and overthrow Saddam:

“We would have been forced to occupy Baghdad and, in effect, rule Iraq. The coalition would instantly have collapsed, the Arabs deserting it in anger and other allies pulling out as well… Furthermore, we had been self-consciously trying to set a pattern for handling aggression in the post-Cold War world. Going in and occupying Iraq, thus unilaterally exceeding the United Nations’ mandate, would have destroyed the precedent of international response to aggression we hoped to establish. Had we gone the invasion route, the United States could conceivably still be an occupying power in a bitterly hostile land. It would have been a dramatically different – and perhaps barren – outcome.”

(emphasis mine)
The turmoil envisioned by the Bush-Scowcroft writings has now come to pass in spades. The United States is a pariah among all nations, Muslim, European and Christian. The former Secretary of State, James Baker, a confidant of the Bush family, reports that in prior years, people often inquired of him as to why George Herbert Walker Bush did not pursue Saddam to Baghdad. Now that events in the Middle East have proven the probity of the Bush-Scowcroft assessment, Baker now reports that no one asks him that question anymore.
The fact is that King George of Crawford conspicuously rejected his father’s advice saying, “I rely upon a higher father.” It must be assumed that the higher father is either God, Jesus or the Holy Ghost. By saying that he relied upon a higher father, it is clear that one of those members of the divinity ordered the invasion of Iraq. Thus, our war in Iraq takes on the trappings of a holy crusade.
So you see, King George of Crawford did not rely upon his father’s advice. He relied a upon his gut feelings when he ascribed it to members of the Christian divinity.
By relying upon his gut feelings instead of the wisdom of his elders, King George of Crawford has brought to fulfillment the prophecy of Henry L. Mencken. In 1925, Henry Mencken was the most noted author of prose in this country, being an editor, a critic, a reporter and the author of some 80 or more books. Henry Mencken’s view of the American presidency went into this statement about its eventual prospects:

“As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”

– H. L. Mencken
What we have here is that the American system has produced a president who relies on gut feelings, which is clearly a moronic gesture. King George of Crawford is indeed a moron and a very dangerous one.
I have consulted with learned physicians in the eastern half of the United States. I have even had a clinical discussion with Dr. C. J. Whitman who is a specialist on ileocolectomies. Every single physician I have consulted has stated that in the digestive system, there are no brain cells. Brain cells are in the head. They are for thinking. The lower digestive system serves quite another purpose.
Unanimously, the physicians that I have consulted have said that the king of Crawford’s gut feelings are clearly the result of cramps, digestive problems or more than likely, irregularity. They have prescribed “Black Draught” for quick action or, for gentle relief of gut feelings, there are always Carter’s Little Liver Pills.
So there you have the chief decider relying and not only on his gut feelings but on a higher father than George Herbert Walker Bush. These are the actions of a dangerous moron. The lives of millions are in the balance. There is no room for a dangerous moron to rely upon his gut feelings as he guides this country into more dangerous misadventures.
E. E. CARR
December 2, 2006
Essay 270
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Kevin’s commentary: Seems like Pop didn’t get quite enough off his chest with this essay, since this one came out shortly after. I knew that the older Bush had the opportunity to occupy Iraq but didn’t, but had no idea that the predictions for the outcome of such an event could be so accurate. Though I guess they were a little obvious, knowing what we know about how nations generally react to being occupied.