THE THIRD RAIL SQUARED


When someone speaking to me works the phrase “critical mass” into a sentence, this illiterate mangler of words tends to believe that there is a degree of condescension in the conversation. It is much like a former AT&T colleague using the phrase “pro-active.” My impulse was to say, “What the hell does that mean?” But be that as it may, 1928 was a year of critical mass as well as a pro-active year for this young resident of a suburb of St. Louis. During the summer of 1928, I achieved the advanced age of six years. The St. Louis Cardinals won the National League pennant and were shutout by the New York Yankees in the World Series of that year.
One of my major achievements during 1928 was to enter the Forsyth School in Clayton, Missouri. When my mother’s seventh child reached the advanced age of 6 years, my mother produced a Bible that said that I had reached the “age of accountability.” That means that unless I were saved, I would be on my way to hell within an instant after my demise. To avoid that situation, she took me to a grove of trees near our property and instructed me to fall on my knees, close my eyes and pray. She also suggested that if my prayers were successful, Jesus would appear and/or speak to me and I would be saved. The rocks were hurting my knees and no one came from Heaven to appear before me or to speak to me. I concluded that the only way to avoid this torture was to announce that I was indeed saved. My mother threw up her arms and there was great celebration. What my mother did not realize was that from that instant forward, I had become a non-believer in religious ritual. Next summer will mark the 80th anniversary of that cataclysmic event. There have been no interruptions in this long streak of scoreless innings.
So religion is one of the issues I wish to touch on in this essay, with the other being politics. Those of you who live in large cities where subway trains operate must know about the doctrine of the third rail. There are two rails beneath the train that the wheels turn on. Between or beside those two rails is a third rail which supplies electrical power to the trains motors. When one touches the third rail and another metal object, he ordinarily will be turned into toast. Burnt toast. In this humble little essay, I hope to avoid that fate. But who knows? Perhaps critical mass will overtake me and I will become pro-active.
It has always been my belief that when religion invades the field of politics, both are corrupted. Democratic governments are secular institutions and should not observe the faith-based beliefs of religious zealots.
In 1928, the presidential contest involved Governor Al Smith of New York, a Democrat, and Herbert Hoover, an engineer from California. Al Smith was a Catholic, while Herbert Hoover reminds me much of Richard Cheney. When the votes were counted, Smith lost, largely because Evangelical Christians deserted him and would not vote for a Catholic. My mother and father agonized for a while about their vote. They were lifelong Democrats but this was the first time that they had ever been confronted by a presidential contender who was a Catholic. In the end, they voted for Al Smith. The southerners, who had at the beginning of that decade imposed prohibition upon the American citizenry, either did not vote or voted for Herbert Hoover. The Great American Depression was, of course, the result.
Again, my argument is that when religion invades the secular field of government, both are corrupted. During the current administration, George Bush has encouraged the promotion of faith-based initiatives. It is hard to believe, but on his public payroll there are office holders who are responsible for carrying out faith-based beliefs.
It is quite clear that the religionists, particularly the Evangelicals, do not believe that there is a separation between church and state. They feel free to corrupt the government with their faith-based zealotry, but they will resist until death the idea that the government should cross into their territory by taking their tax exemptions away, for example.
When promoters of Evangelical thought such as Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and James Dobson speak, Karl Rove and his acolytes take notice and pander to them. Senator John Danforth, who was also the Ambassador to the United Nations, a preacher, and a Missouri Republican, commented recently that the Christian conservatives had become nothing more than an arm of the George Bush administration. With that, Senator Danforth resigned and went home to Missouri. Good for Senator Danforth! Unfortunately, his successor was John Bolton.
My argument is fairly straight forward. Faith, according to the dictionary, is a system of beliefs unsupported by fact. If someone wishes to believe that Joshua stopped the sun in its tracks, that is a belief and it is certainly not supported by any facts that we know of. If someone of faith wishes to believe that Jonah spent three days in the belly of that “large fish,” that is also a matter of faith. I suspect that Jonah would have been eaten up by the gastric juices that reside there. If someone wishes to believe that Joshua indeed stopped the sun and that Jonah cavorted in the belly of that great fish for three days, that is all well and good, provided that it stays on the church side of the church-state division. Faith-based beliefs have no reason to exist in the government of a secular state such as the United States. If one of our significant politicians, such as the President, truly believes that Joshua could stop the sun, and that Jonah spent three days in the belly of that fish, it is my belief that he has no place in a secular government.
There are nations that have no church-state division. Many of them are Islamic and are found in the Middle East. Iran with its ayatollahs and Saudi Arabia with its Wahhabi influence over the affairs of that country, are two such examples. In those cultures, women are regarded as property and have no rights at all because of the dictates of the religion.
My argument is simple. It holds that the American government is a secular government that should not be influenced by the desires of the Jerry Falwells, the Pat Robertsons, and the James Dobsons. They belong on one side of the church-state relationship and have no reason for being in the secular affairs of the government. But that is not the way it works. George Bush has pandered to the Evangelicals, indeed to the worst elements of the right wing zealots, who comprise his base. And we are the poorer for it.
Turning to politics, I am again obliged to point out that Henry Mencken had it right when he wrote in 1925 the following lines:

“As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”

Unfortunately, I would suggest that George Bush fits the prescription outlined by Henry Mencken in every detail. He is not only a moron, but an arrogant one as well. Our treasury has been squandered and we are involved in a needless war in the Middle East that will have no end while Bush is in power. Bush attends none of the funerals of the nearly 4,000 American service people who have been killed. He simply rides his bicycle on his Texas ranch.
So you see, in this essay I have attempted to deal with first religion and then with politics, and as a result, I have stepped on the third rail at least twice. If any of you are offended, I will understand that, but it is in the interests of the United States that the Evangelicals be confined to their pulpits on Sunday mornings and should not have a back door entry to the highest circles of the American government. By stepping on two of the third rails, I hope you understand the title of this essay which is “The Third Rail Squared.”
This essay has been boiling inside my head for quite a while and I am pleased that it has now been committed to paper. If anyone can show me that the Evangelicals have withdrawn from their effort to cross the church-state divide, and secondly, if someone can demonstrate to me that George Bush is indeed not an arrogant moron, I will concede that critical mass has been achieved in a pro-active manner.
E. E. CARR
November 22, 2007
Essay 207
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Kevin’s commentary: Loving the Mencken quote. Though if the president really was going to represent our inner soul, he’d probably do what the majority of the country wanted. If memory serves, Bush struggled a lot with that in later years.
In other news, Pop really, really hates the word proactive.
Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Exhibit C
Exhibit D

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