This Saturday morning, February 9, my breakfast was largely ruined by listening to a speech by Governor Huckabee which was delivered to the Conservative Political Action Conference, a group of ideologues. Huckabee explained that when he went to college, he did not major in mathematics but rather in miracles. In this case, the miracle business had to do with whether or not he could overtake John McCain in the remaining primaries in the Republican nomination process. I suppose that if McCain expired between now and the Republican convention, Huckabee would consider it some form of miracle.
Huckabee is a former Southern Baptist preacher. As many of you know, I spent my younger years listening to Southern Baptist preachers who were glib of tongue. Nearly all of them are adept at setting up straw houses and then destroying them, which they proclaimed as a miracle.
Huckabee had very little to say about the current recession or depression that is afflicting the American economy. I suppose that he is relying upon some celestial miracle to finally balance our books. But as a survivor of the Great American Depression of the 1930s, I can assure the Right Honorable Huckabee that no matter how hard he pounds his pulpit the recession/depression is not going to go away until we quit squandering our financial resources in Iraq.
By this time, nearly everyone has had a crack at trying to solve the recession/depression problem. Next week Bush will sign a piece of legislation that will give a few dollars to the American taxpayer. The federal reserve system has cut interest rates on a number of occasions and our Treasury Secretary assures us that everything will be great. Unfortunately, the Treasury Secretary was nowhere to be seen as we worked our way into this financial problem and he is now presiding over an empty treasury.
I did not major in mathematics. It was a miracle that I mastered long division. So with that background in mind, may I make a suggestion to solve our financial difficulties? We are pouring truckloads of American money into the effort in Iraq. To make things look a little better, Bush has suggested that we should balance our books by cutting benefits to Veterans, to the aged, to the sick, and to children. That is not the way to do things. The way to start setting our financial affairs right is by stopping the American venture in Iraq.
When that war is stopped, there will be financial resources to repair the bridge that fell down in Minneapolis. There will be enough money left over to repair Walnut Street in downtown Philadelphia, which is now a disgrace. When we quit squandering our money in the misadventure in Iraq, there will be enough to shore up Medicare and Social Security.
If I were to drive four Macerates and maintain a stable of mistresses with a champagne party every night, I would be broke instantly. The same principle applies to the United States. We can get from here to there as long as we live within our means. When Vice President Cheney tells you that deficits don’t matter, he should be impeached and imprisoned.
I have no influence on Republican affairs and Governor Huckabee would not listen to me even if I told him that I came from a neighboring state to his native Arkansas. But may I assure you and all of the readers of these essays, that until we stop squandering our resources in misadventures such as Iraq, there will be no miracles that will accrue to the American people.
Huckabee is a glib Southern Baptist preacher. He promises that somehow our financial troubles and other problems will disappear through a miracle of one kind or another. For all of his likeability, Huckabee is a dangerous man. If we were to give the presidency to a man who depends upon celestial miracles, I suspect that he would preside over our descent into the likes of Iran and other countries governed by religious figures. On top of all that, Huckabee ruined my breakfast and I will never forgive him for that.
E. E. CARR
February 9, 2008
Essay 292
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Kevin’s commentary: The gift of being-in-the-future is always fun for posts like these. I guess he wasn’t so good at miracles after all.
On a quasi related note, the notion of a preacher being president is terrifying. Let’s never let that happen, okay everybody?