There are two or three thoughts that must be established before we proceed into this essay.  The first has to do with vows that Catholic priests embrace, saying that they will live a life of poverty, obedience, and chastity. 

Secondly, your old essayist has never claimed to lead a life based on these three concepts.  Poverty is to be avoided at all costs.  Obedience to any religious authority has never troubled my aged brain.  And, finally, if chastity equates to male celibacy, I find that to be a foreign thought.
Thirdly, if the Book of Genesis is to be believed, it counsels us to go forth and multiply.  (See Genesis 1:28)  I am told that there are six verses in Genesis that advise us to go forth and multiply.  So you see, in my case I am only doing my priestly duties.
And, finally, if you have not guessed it thus far, I am not a practicing Catholic.  My belief is firmly rooted in the doctrine of unbelief.
 
With those forethoughts out of the way, let us proceed to the main event.  There is a priest in southern Florida named Alberto Cutié.  As you know, southern Florida abounds in seaside beaches.  As it turns out, Father Cutié has a girlfriend to whom he shows affection.  Unfortunately, the Catholic hierarchy has come into possession of a photograph where Father Cutié is holding his girlfriend on a beach, which suggests that they are in love.  There is no copulation involved here, which I will avoid because Ezra’s Essays are devoted to high-flown concepts.
Because Father Cutié was shown holding his girlfriend, all kinds of inferences have been drawn.  The most serious one is that Father Cutié has violated his vows of chastity and/or celibacy.
I have no idea what Father Cutié and his girlfriend did or did not do, but from this photograph there is no reason to infer that he has committed a grave sin.  Father Cutié has declined to comment as to whether this display of affection led to more serious involvement.
The good Father from southern Florida freely admits that he is in love with the woman who appeared in the photograph.  In effect, Father Cutié asks, “What is wrong with a man being in love with a woman?”  From what we are told, this priest is a virile young man whose age is in the thirties.  I suspect that he is at the height of his sexual prowess, and he seems to feel a need to demonstrate that function by romancing a young woman.
As far as I can determine, the main beef about Father Cutié has to do with inferences.  There are no eye witness accounts and the good Father and his girlfriend are saying nothing.  But a good many of the Church folks are upset by the inferences that have been drawn from this photograph of Father Cutié and his girlfriend.
Now comes an op ed piece in The Washington Post, published May 15.  The author of the op ed editorial is Father Kevin O’Brien, who is a professor at Georgetown University and also performs the services of a chaplain there.  Obviously, Georgetown is a Catholic university.  The title of his piece is “The Gift of Celibacy.”  Presumably, the gift given to priests comes from a heavenly figure.  If this is so, I would ask those heavenly figures not to give me such a favor in the future.  Father O’Brien, presumably a good Irishman, has said that he took the vows of poverty, obedience, and chastity when he was 29 years of age.  The implication is that he enjoyed sexual pleasures before taking up the priesthood.  That is only an inference, and we all know what inferences can do to us.
Having been raised during the Depression, I suspect that I know all there is to know about the issue of poverty.  When it comes to obedience, I was always obedient to my teachers and in many respects, to my parents.  But when I reached my mid-teen years and discovered the joys of sex, I completely ruled out celibacy.
There is something here that Father O’Brien did not state.  For the first 1100 years that the Christian faith was in existence, the Popes in Rome or in other locations were married men.  Apparently the Popes collected gifts with considerable value.  Upon the deaths of these Popes, their wealth was transferred to their children rather than to the Church.  It is now clear that for the last 900 years of the Catholic faith, the Church has demanded chastity from its popes.  Apparently the Church concluded that if its leader, the Pope, was supposed to be celibate, all the other male members of the clergy should also be celibate.  And so for the last 900 years, its new rule has been covered by a euphemism which is called “the gift of celibacy.”  Once again, if this is a gift, I would hope that in my case, the Superior Being would avoid further generosity in terms of gifts.
And then there is the Biblical injunction found in Genesis that advises all of us to be fruitful and to multiply.  Obviously Church authorities would want this fruitfulness to take place in a married state.  This draws no objection from anyone, but it seems to fly in the face of priestly celibacy.
In the final analysis, this old essayist is a bystander in this dispute.  It has always been my intention to give and to receive love openly.  I gather that Father Cutié is well beloved by his parishioners.  And on the other hand, Father O’Brien of Georgetown is stating a belief held by the Church for 900 years.  Neither Father Cutié nor Father O’Brien has consulted me about their respective positions.  But being a free agent on matters of the heart, it would be my counsel that Father Cutié should do what his heart tells him to do.  If that is to marry this woman, so be it.  I also hope that in time, sooner rather than later, the Church will permit married priests.
But as I said at the outset of this essay, I am not a practicing Catholic.  Furthermore I am not an “un-practicing” Catholic.  So the movers and shakers at the Vatican will probably dismiss my thoughts on this matter of love.  I hope that Father Cutié, one way or another, keeps his parish and also his girlfriend.  And if Father O’Brien wishes to call the “gift of celibacy” something to be desired, he is welcome to his views.  But in the end, my heart will always be with Father Cutié.  On the other hand, if Father O’Brien were introduced to the romance of the Florida beaches, he might fall in love as well.  It is a long shot but that is what horse racing and love are all about.
 
E. E. CARR
May 16, 2009
Essay 385
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Kevin’s commentary: Dumb dumb dumb.  People are going to be people, and if you stop them from doing that, a lot of them are going to turn to the alter boys and do all sorts of other weird shit.
That said, the “Pope’s gifts go to the Pope’s kids” rule would be pretty insane so I guess it’s good that they’ve gotten rid of that. Maybe we just have celibate popes? Or we hand down Popely gifts from Pope to Pope?