IN MEMORIAM ROSEMARY ROCHE DADY 1928 – 2008


Robert Browning, the English poet, once wrote these lines:

          Grow old along with me
The best is yet to be,
The last of life for which the first was made.
 
Poets are dreamers.  They are not pragmatists.  The last of life for aged people involves loss of hearing, reduced visual acuity, arthritis, and other ailments that rob the body of its stamina and its once supple nature.  The last of life is not a matter of champagne and caviar at every turn.  In many cases, there are debilitating illnesses and many disappointments.  One of the biggest tragedies of the last of life has to do with the departure of treasured friends.
Rosemary Dady was one of those treasured friends.  Sometime during the 1970s, her husband Ed and I began to work together in an AT&T assignment.  My recollection is that there was a small dinner party in New York City to which employees could invite their wives.  It was on that occasion that I met Ed Dady’s wife, Rosemary.  After dinner, my recollection also tells me that we were on lower Fifth Avenue in Manhattan. As we strolled down Fifth Avenue, I mentioned to Rosemary Dady that in 1930, a judge in the New York court system named Joseph Force Crater lived on Fifth Avenue and had disappeared on a Friday evening, August 1, 1930.  He was, at that time, 41 years of age.  Rosemary, who was a native New Yorker, said that she knew something about that case and then proceeded to recite many of the details.  It was at that point that I knew that I had found a soul mate.
As time went forward, there were a number of books and articles written about Judge Crater, which always attracted my attention.  When I came to work in New York on a temporary basis in 1950 and then later when I was located in New York permanently in 1955, I often wondered how a judge who lived on Fifth Avenue could disappear without a trace.  We do know that on his final appearance in this life, he enjoyed a steak dinner with red wine, in a midtown restaurant.  Apparently, at the final supper, Judge Crater dined alone.  Curiously, Judge Crater, who was sworn to uphold the law, imbibed the wine while prohibition was still in effect.  Rosemary and I gave Judge Crater high marks for ignoring the 18th Amendment to the United States Constitution.
As time passed by, Ed Dady retired and then suffered a stroke that left him in a wheelchair.  Through the tender care of his wife Rosemary, Ed slowly began to recover, and the last time I saw him he was walking, aided by a cane but nonetheless walking.  Rosemary was always at Ed’s side.  However, in 1996 Ed died and Rosemary was then alone.
While Rosemary was alone, I sent her, from time to time, copies of my essays and also tried to bring her up to date on the latest – if I may use that term – developments in the Judge Crater case.  There was a very interesting book that was published about that case, which I read and then promptly sent to Rosemary.
But now comes one of those grave disappointments that are associated with a long life, or as the poet Browning said, “the last of life for which the first was made.”  Yesterday the mail brought a note from Patricia Dady Burns to tell me that her mother Rosemary had died.
Rather than to tell you about the note, I will reproduce its contents here.

 image rosemary

When Pat Dady Burns wrote in her note that I had the love of both of her parents, I did the manly thing.  I cried.  I found later that Rosemary had a Master’s Degree from Hofstra University in English literature.  It seems to me that Rosemary’s love of language has been passed on intact to Pat, her daughter.
Now, as I dictate this essay, I am struck by the thought that while Judge Crater is gone, he has been replaced by Bernie Madoff, the Ponzi scheme swindler.  We find that Madoff has been confined, if that is the proper word, to his Park Avenue penthouse apartment in New York and yesterday mailed batches of jewelry to his relatives.  Among the jewelry items were 13 watches.  It would do my heart good to ask Rosemary what in the world a man would do with 13 watches.  I am confident that Rosemary would have an appropriate answer.
Long lives are desired by all of us but they have their drawbacks.  In this case, the drawback is a note informing me of the death of Rosemary Dady.  I had hoped never to have heard those words, but that seems to be the case.  Rosemary was a wonderful woman with a hearty laugh.  She will be missed, not only by her family but by all of the friends who knew her.  The lines from Robert Browning’s poem are comforting to read but in this case I would have hoped that the “last of life” could have been extended until the Honorable Judge Crater could be located.
 
E. E. CARR
January 14, 2009
Essay 360
~~~
Kevin’s commentary: I am saddened by Pop’s loss. I do not look forward to the time in my life when I start to lose friends in this way. On a brighter note though, I like how much joy Pop has brought to others through his essays. It encourages me even more to continue publishing them and give them a wider readership. RIP Rosemary.


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