VATICAN LULLABIES


The title of this essay suggests that it will be about the Catholic Church.  At the outset, it should be stated that the author of this essay, who is also the editor of Ezra’s Essays, is not a Catholic and has no intention of becoming one in the near future.  But in this essay, I am pleading for justice to aging Catholics of great rank in the church.
Those of you with long memories may recall the Second World War, which took place between 1939 and 1945.  The United States was involved in that war from December 7, 1941 through August 16th of 1945.  On the German side the war ended in May of 1945 with the defeat of what Hitler called The Third Reich.  Japan, the third member of the Axis powers, held out until August 16th of 1945.  For Italy, the second member of the Axis powers, the war ended sometime in 1944.  In point of fact, the Italian army was never considered a military machine.  One can say in laughter about war that the Italian Army was, more than anything else, a laughable army.
Towards the end of that war, the Germans were desperate for manpower.  Hitler presided over the drafting of 16-year-old youths as the war drew to a close.  One of the youths drafted was a fellow named Joseph Ratzinger.  As many of you know, I was also in that war on the American side.  My service was inAfrica,Sicily, andItaly.  When Herr Ratzinger was drafted, the war was taking place inGermany.  The facts of the situation are that Joseph Ratzinger served in the German army and I was a soldier in the American army inItalyorNorth Africa.  It is entirely unlikely that Herr Ratzinger and I knew each other or even traded shots at one another.
As time went on, Herr Ratzinger and I both tended to age a bit.  But age is a welcome addition in the Catholic Church.  Late in his seventies or very early 80’s, Herr Ratzinger was elected Pope of the Roman Catholic Church.  With that, Herr Ratzinger had proceeded to dizzying heights in his career.  My life’s venture was more prosaic in that I retired at around the age of 62 to become a world-famous essayist.
But at age 62, Herr Ratzinger was considered by the Catholic Church as a mere rookie.  After a time he was promoted to the rank of cardinal.  Then in his late seventies or early eighties, he became the Pope of the Roman Catholic Church.  I might comment at this point that in the service of the Church, a person of 65 years is considered a youngster.
But now we fast forward to the Christmas season of the year 2011.  At this point, Herr Ratzinger, who is now the Pope, had to preside over the Christmas mass which has traditionally been said at midnight.  In deference to the Pope’s age, themidnightmass was recited at10:00 PMrather than atmidnight.  I can imagine that the saints as well as the Holy Ghost looked askance at what was taking place inRome.  Themidnightmass was taking place at10:00 PM instead of midnight.
I know of no real provisions for recitation of the mass at midnight.  I would suggest that no rule of the Catholic Church was breached by the recitation of the mass at10:00 PM.  By custom, the mass has come to be celebrated atmidnight.  But I see no reason why this was a scandalous event.  It took place at10:00 PMin deference to Herr Ratzinger’s desire to go to bed.  Now look here.  I was in the same war with Herr Ratzinger and I am about four years older than he.  I can assure you that I have no desire to stay up until midnight for a religious ceremony, or anything else of a religious nature.
I am aware that Roman Catholics throughout the world will be outraged when I say that I see nothing wrong with the Pope turning in two hours earlier.  After all, he is an old man who is a veteran of the German army.
I believe that as such he is entitled to a full night’s sleep.
I never thought that in my long life I would come to the defense of a former German soldier.  Long after the war, I met at least two German soldiers and they were quite likeable.  I have no idea whether Herr Ratzinger would fall into this category.  But I am prepared to say that as an old man, which Herr Ratzinger is, he is entitled to sleep.  Beyond that, I would believe that a young Cardinal, monseigneur or some other official, would be a perfectly satisfactory substitute for Catholics who wished to stay up until midnight.  I am assuming that such a person is old enough to know where the bodies are buried but will be on the shady side of age 70.  Perhaps a young Cardinal age 75 to 78 could be found to recite the midnight mass on Christmas eve.
In the end I suppose that Catholics all over the world will take sides on this question, but I am also assuming that the bulk of them will join me in saying that Herr Ratzinger is entitled to a 10:00 PM mass as opposed to a midnight mass.  For the record, I have never met Herr Ratzinger.  But knowing about the physical deficiencies that accrue with age, it is my tendency to wish him well.  And as for myself, I never thought that I would be required to come to the defense of a German soldier.  Ah, but the Lord must work in mysterious ways.
E. E. CARR
January 27, 2012
Essay 629
 
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It’s the site’s first Pope Day, ladies and gentlemen! Pop has actually written so much about the Pope that there will have to be a second day devoted to his Holiness in the near future — there are two more from 2012 alone.  I think perhaps my grandfather hopes that if he writes enough about the Pope, God will hear it and communicate Pop’s opinions to said Pope via the red phone or whatever the Pope uses to talk to God.
(Semirelatead nerdy Chinese sidebar — the character for “King” is wang: 王 where the top tier represents Heaven, the bottom Earth, and the middle the lord who acts as the intermediary that ties them all together through the vertical stroke.  As I was writing that snarky bit about the phone just now, it struck me that this Chinese idea of king describes pretty much exactly what the Pope is supposed to do, so I did a quick check on the Chinese word for Pope (“religious emperor,” no shit) and lo and behold there it was. It’s the bottom part of the second word: 教皇.  I felt pretty proud about predicting that.)
And now a second thought occurs to me, namely that I could not be doing a worse job of making this site screen-reader friendly if I tried. God knows what Pop’s software is going to do when it finds Chinese characters. I’ll investigate.
 

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