As most of you probably know by this time, my enlistment with the American Army resulted in my spending a great deal of time with the British. Specifically, it was to fly combat support for the valiant efforts of the British Eighth Army.
From time to time, the troopers from the British Eighth Army sang some songs that have stuck with me for the better part of 70 years. These were not the effete Englishmen that we often associate with the residents of the English countryside; these were toughened troopers from the British Eighth Army. As one could imagine, the words to this hymn were not within the parameters of ordinary church-going folks. In this case, the song refers to the slang name for sexual intercourse. The title of course is “F— ‘Em All – The Long, The Short, and The Tall.” Now the lyrics go like this:
F… ‘em all – the long and the short and the tall,
F… all the sergeants and WO1’s (Warrant Officer First Class).
F… all the Corporals and their bastard sons (that refers to Lance Corporals the equivalent of Private First Class in the U.S.).
For we’re saying good-bye to them all,
The long and the short and the tall,
There’ll be no promotion this side of the ocean.
So cheer up my lads; F… ‘em all.
Now I realize that this is not a song that should be sung at gatherings of the faithful. But in this case, some nearly 70 years after World War II, the song struck me and I wish to record the lyrics to that song so that they may be preserved for historical purposes. So I hope that you will excuse the ribald thoughts expressed by this wonderful hymn and that you will concentrate on the contribution of the British Eighth Army and its tribute towards musical memories.
Once you have heard the song sung in my melodious baritone, I believe that it will stick with you for the rest of your life. But always remember that:
There’ll be no promotion this side of the ocean.
So cheer up my lads; F— ‘em all.
That is my inspiring thought as I contemplate what to do with my time as I embark on the 90th year of my life.
E. E. CARR
August 25, 2011
Essay 576
PS: After having dictated this essay, I ruminated for a while. During my ruminations, the thought arose that in post-war Britain, the song was changed to “Bless ‘em all.” Ladies and gentlemen, it beggars the imagination to think that any British soldier from the Eighth Army would have sung such a nonsensical verse. The fact of the matter is that it was “F— ‘em all” and the thing about “Bless ‘em all” was not thought of at that time. You may take my word for it in view of the fact that I was there. So the effects are that “Bless ‘em all” was not even contemplated during World War II. It was and forever will be “F— ‘em all.”
~~~
Kevin’s commentary: You know, just the other day Pop was emailing me about the Etymology of ‘fuck.’ Here’s the conversation:
//
Hey Kevin,
An Englishman, properly called a “Limey”, said his research into the language of the Anglo-Saxons discloses that one expression called “Fornication Under Consent of the King” actually spells, acronymically, the word FUCK. This is disturbing to me in that I will think of it as I try to bed Elizabeth, the Queen of all the Limeys. Do you think that I should be bothered by this development?
Pop
//
Dear Pop,
Thankfully that research is misinformed. Read all about the debunking here http://www.snopes.com/
The main issue is “the word ‘fornication’ itself. Though many reasonably conclude fornication is the old-time word for having sex, the term specifically excludes the physical union of man and wife. One can fornicate premaritally or extramaritally, but not intramaritally. In light of this, any claim wedded couples trying to entice the stork down their chimney were granted fornication permits crashes against the rock of the wrong word being used.”
-Kevin
